Parents Nail The High Cost Of Kids In These 11 Funny Tweets

Having kids can be incredibly expensive. And the expenses only go up over time; once they’re out of nappies, kids require an ungodly amount of food, endless school supplies and bribes for doing chores and getting good grades. And then there’s university.

Though it’s probably painful to think about all the money you’ve spent on your child, it can help to step back and just laugh about it. These tweets by parents hilariously sum up just how costly it can be to raise a kid.

Shampoo Shopping, 1st Child:
This $27 bottle has all pure, plant based ingredients grown in a country that has never supported a dictatorship & that only allows free range chickens. Sold!

6 yrs, 2 kids later: This generic dishwashing liquid shouldn’t take off too much skin.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) February 6, 2019

My hobbies include: working really hard to earn money and watching my kids eat every penny of it.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 8, 2019

Welcome to parenthood.

Hope you like hearing “THERE’S NOTHING TO EAT!” right after you just spent your life savings at the grocery store.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 7, 2018

If I had enough money to bribe my kids way into college it probably means I didn't have kids in the first place.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) March 14, 2019

[After son breaks something]
ME: This is why we can’t have nice things!
HIM: I thought money was why we couldn’t have nice things.
ME: *Trying to keep my anger momentum* There can be more than one reason for only having crappy things!
— The Dad (@thedad) March 6, 2019

Me: This tidying up thing is a pretty good trend.

Also me: Oh, look, it’s the dollar bin at Target. I’m sure there’s something here the kids will love.
— John Spencer (@spencerideas) January 12, 2019

I want my kids to have a fun childhood, but like a lazy, quiet kind of fun that doesn't cost anything.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) April 21, 2017

I offer my kids $500 for every A on their report card. It sends the message that education is a priority in our household and it costs me absolutely nothing since my kids aren't that bright.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 29, 2018

Sure kids cost roughly $14,000 annually, but think about all the money you save from no longer having a social life.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 7, 2018

My son walks around all day talking about how he wants to order sushi and go to Target, so yeah, we’re definitely blood-related.
— The Mom at Law (@TheMomAtLaw) March 11, 2019

Nobody mentioned that having kids was just a very expensive way of curating an interactive and quite thorough list of all your most annoying personality traits.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 8, 2019

This story is part of the series “How To Afford A Teenager,” supported by Relay. All content with the “supported by” label is editorially independent.

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