When it comes to sharing photos of our kids on social media, it seems impossible to get right. Is it okay to share pictures of them online? Should we ask their consent? Or what about not showing their faces, perhaps?
Some parents share the trials and tribulations of family life on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram every day, especially celebrities. Katie Price’s children, for example, have grown up in the spotlight; the reality TV star documenting everything from son Harvey’s recent move to residential care, to her daughter Bunny dressed as a construction worker.
Stacey Solomon gives regular insights into life as a mum-of-three, saying recently “we have no routine whatsoever” after sharing a photo of herself with third son Rex. She also posted an intimate shot of herself looking exhausted after giving birth, in a move that was praised by fans for being “raw and real”.
Others keep their kids away from cameras altogether. Jennifer Garner doesn’t shares pictures of her children, and recently revealed her 13-year-old daughter isn’t allowed her own Instagram account either, because she doesn’t think it’s healthy.
And Halle Berry, who rarely shares images of her family, has taken a different approach, posting a photo of half her son’s face. “I really don’t like to show my kids very much,” she told Extra at the time.
“It’s a fine line because I don’t want to exploit my children... I want to protect my children, so I thought, ‘Half the face is good.’”
Is it better, then, to show half a child’s face – or not show their face at all – on our social media accounts?
Parenting blogger Hannah Gale recently addressed this topic, writing on Instagram: “Over the past two years, I’ve been asked approximately 3628385 times why I don’t show Atti’s face in photos.
“It was never something I planned in advance or made a big decision on. He was born, I whacked up a classic ‘Hey, cute little new baby in hospital’ snap and then I deleted my Instagram app ready for a month away from the wild world of social media,” she wrote.
“And then when I came to re-downloading Insta, I just couldn’t bring myself to share every detail of my new baby, I felt this desperate need to hold something back for myself. I wanted to protect him. To keep him away from the internet.”
Gale said she’s been on the receiving end of “nasty online comments” over the years, and didn’t want to put her son in a space “where he could be critiqued by strangers before he could even smile”.
I know exactly what she means – because I, too, have a difficult relationship with social media when it comes to my kids. I separate them by privacy settings: my Twitter profile is public, so I’d never put photos of my kids on there.
My Facebook and Instagram accounts, however, are private. I’ll talk about my kids and post photos of them – including their faces – but I am reassured that anything I post is only being viewed by friends I know in real life.
Yet, I write about my kids all the time – I may not put up public photos of them, but I share details of our lives in that way. But it’s because I believe that in sharing the joyful – and melancholic – aspects of parenting, it can help us all feel less alone.
Some people in the public eye pixelate their kids’ faces, but it leaves me wondering whether in sharing footage of the rest of them – their bodies, their bedrooms, their toys – they’re really doing very much to ‘protect’ that privacy at all.
As I said, it seems impossible to get right. Perhaps the real answer to privacy is, simply, omission. Waiting until the child is old enough to decide for themselves.
And until then? Maybe we should ask ourselves why we feel the need to show any – particularly the most intimate – details of our family lives in the first place.