Drew Barrymore has admitted she can happily go “years” without sex. And in a world where we’re led to believe everyone else is always at it, all of the time, it’s a pretty refreshing thing to hear.
During an episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, the talk show host and actor uttered her confession while speaking about Andrew Garfield’s admission to staying celibate for six months in preparation for his role as a priest in the 2016 film, Silence.
“I was like, ‘Yeah, so?’” Drew said of Garfield’s method acting.
Ross Mathews, a contributor on the show, then interjected, “That’s the headline: ‘Drew can go six months, no big deal,’” to which the star corrected him, clarifying that she could actually abstain from sex for “years.”
“What’s wrong with me that six months doesn’t seem like a very long time?” Drew asked her show’s audience.
The answer to that question? Nothing at all, Drew. Because going without for a while is not only normal, it can actually benefit you, according to sex and relationship experts. And this is the case whether you’re single or in a so-called “sexless” relationship.
“The term ‘sexlessness’ itself is problematic,” sociologist and intimacy expert Professor Jacqui Gabb, who is chief relationships officer at the app, Paired, previously told HuffPost UK.
“It implies there’s a lack, there’s an absence, there is something wrong, and actually, we know that relationships can function quite satisfactorily without sex if both partners have agreed to it – or found a way to compensate for the absence of sex if one doesn’t agree with that.”
Lucinda, 36, from Blackpool, has been with her partner for nine years and also rejects the phrase “sexless”. Instead, she describes her relationship as “sex-free by choice”.
“We wanted the benefits of companionship, but minus the complications of sex,” she told us. “We’re intimate in plenty of other ways. We cuddle and kiss, but more importantly, we have emotional intimacy.
“We share the good and bad bits of our lives. We care for each other. There’s certainly nothing missing from our lives or from our relationship. In fact, our relationship is far, far stronger for being sex-free.”
Dee Holmes, a therapist at Relate, also believes a period without sex can boost your relationship in other ways.
“It can help a couple relax and feel they can be more loving and affectionate more often because it is not giving a signal sex is on the agenda,” Holmes said. “Many people avoid too much intimacy and time with a partner because they are really avoiding sex.”
And if you’re single? Don’t sweat it if you’re not having sex on the reg. Read this masturbation coach’s advice for a great solo sesh, or embrace the break altogether. If it’s good enough for Hollywood royalty...