The six songs the UK could potentially be sending to Eurovision in 2019 have been unveiled.
For the past few years, itâs been viewers at home who have chosen which performers and songs represent the UK at the annual song contest, with each of them given the chance to perform on the special show âEurovision: You Decideâ.
This year, the BBC is doing things a little differently, with three songs to choose from, each performed in two different ways by two different artists.
Hereâs our verdict on each of the potential choices...
1. âBigger Than Usâ â Michael Rice
In a nutshell? Donât be fooled by the Ed Sheeran/James Arthur/insert-any-other-interchangeable-white-man-with-guitar-sounding introduction, the chorus is much more pop, putting us in mind of a Westlife ballad (a band whose comeback single, incidentally, was written by Ed Sheeran).
How ridiculous is it? Itâs a pretty by-the-numbers singer/songwriter affair, but there is a gospel choir and a key change, so itâs not totally without smirk-worthy moments.
How would it do at Eurovision? Cheesy ballads havenât done all that well in the last few years (last yearâs winner, lest we forget, was a high-energy tune that featured chicken beat-boxing and lyrical nods to âPokĂ©monâ, Barbie and âWonder Womanâ), with recent history suggesting if youâre going to win with a slow tune, it needs to have an arty edge to it. But itâs rare that two consecutive winners sound alike too, so maybe itâs time for a Eurovision resurgence of this type of track.
Oh, and have we seen him somewhere before? Michael was actually the winner of the BBCâs quirky singing contest, âAll Together Nowâ, last year.
2. âBigger Than Usâ â Holly Tandy
In a nutshell? A country-infused pop tune thatâs more subdued Taylor Swift than raucous Miley Cyrus, and wouldnât have sounded out of place on Kylie Minogueâs recent chart-topping effort, âGoldenâ.
How ridiculous is it? Not very, particularly as it lacks the gospel choir and key change featured in Michael Riceâs version. Still, thereâs scope for her to play up to the songâs country aesthetic when it comes to the production side of things, so thereâs still a slim chance sheâll turn the âEurovision: You Decideâ stage into a hoe-down.
How would it do at Eurovision? Itâs always good to have a gimmick at Eurovision, and Hollyâs version of âBigger Than Usâ is country enough to stand out among the contestâs more generic offerings. We donât hear it and immediately think âEurovision winnerâ, but we reckon this will win over some viewers.
Oh, and have we seen her somewhere before? Potentially, Holly was the first contestant eliminated from the âX Factorâ live shows when she competed on the show back in 2017.
3. âFreaksâ â Jordan Clarke
In a nutshell? A musical theatre-esque number that sounds like something from âThe Greatest Showmanâ or âEveryoneâs Talking About Jamieâ, with lyrics about being put down and laughed at, but finding solace in your fellow âfreaksâ.
How ridiculous is it? Compared to both versions of âBigger Than Usâ, âFreaksâ cranks up the ridiculousness and cheese factor by quite a percentage, sample lyrics including âI donât see the difference in me, too, your, tu, or moi, vousâ and âIâve been locked in the locker, Iâve been picked last in soccerâ.
How would it do at Eurovision? A message about unity and standing together? Lyrics about flying your âfreakâ flag? REFERENCES TO FRENCH GRAMMAR? Yep, we can see this one going down well with Eurovision regulars.
Oh, and have we seen him somewhere before? Jordan used to be a member of the boyband Luminites, who caught the attention of âBritainâs Got Talentâ viewers back in 2013, and were then briefly signed to Simon Cowellâs label.
4. âFreaksâ â MAID
In a nutshell? Halloween week on âThe X Factorâ at its strongest. And whether or not thatâs a good thing is up to you.
How ridiculous is it? Itâs certainly the most theatrical of the six songs. Compared to Jordanâs version of âFreaksâ, MAID have played up much more to the âfreakâ theme, with sliding voice effects, distorted vocals and creepy-sounding plucked strings. Throw in some three-part harmonies and, to be honest, weâre sold.
How would it do at Eurovision? See above, but we reckon the MAID version is going to serve when it comes to production too, which is something weâre more than a bit excited for.
Oh, and have we seen them somewhere before? Kat, Miracle and Blythe have more of a musical theatre background, with Blythe acting as the understudy for Jasmine in âAladdinâ (a role originated in the West End by former Eurovision singer Jade Ewen, no less!), while Miracle most recently played Columbia in a production of âThe Rocky Horror Showâ.
5. âSweet Liesâ â Kerrie-Anne
In a nutshell? You know those top 20 dance tracks they use over montages on âTOWIEâ and âLove Islandâ? Well, Kerrie-Anne has delivered another one.
How ridiculous is it? It isnât, aside from the fact that when you close your eyes you can sort of imagine Gemma Collins sipping a rosĂ© at the Sugar Hut with this playing in the background.
How would it do at Eurovision? We can see what they were going for with something a bit more contemporary and chart-friendly, but we canât see global Eurovision fans warming to this one.
Oh, and have we seen them somewhere before? Like competitor Holly Tandy, Kerrie-Anne appeared on âThe X Factorâ in 2015, leaving at the Judgesâ Houses stage.
6. âSweet Liesâ â Anisa
In a nutshell? A sweet-sounding R&B ballad that throws back to the 1990s and 2000s.
How ridiculous is it? Itâs certainly a dramatic number, but we wouldnât go as far as to say ridiculous.
How would it do at Eurovision? Anisa is a talented vocalist, and her version of âSweet Liesâ is certainly more poignant than the dancier version itâs going up against at âEurovision: You Decideâ. We think how well it went down in the actual Song Contest would depend on the staging, as ballads can sometimes struggle to hold viewersâ attention when thereâs so much theatrical nonsense going on in other parts of the show.
Oh, and have we seen them somewhere before? Unless youâre already following her career as a singer/songwriter, probably not.
Final Thoughts
Itâs obviously early doors, but of the three pairs of competing artists, weâre siding with Holly Tandy, MAID and Anisa.
Watch all six artists perform in âEurovision: You Decideâ on Friday 8 February. Take a listen to each of the songs in full on the BBCâs website.