In a recent Reddit post shared to r/AmITheAsshole (AITA), Redditor Thick-Act-1444 asked if they were in the wrong for how they behaved around their child’s birthday.
“I used to be married a few years ago. It was not a happy marriage and we divorced,” they began their post.
The pair share three children, who are in the primary custody of the poster. However, the Redditor’s ex-wife has custody of their children on weekends.
Their middle child just turned 12
Their middle daughter recently celebrated their 12th birthday, the poster says.
However, it seems the original poster (OP)’s ex-wife forgot about the event.
“She [their daughter] got zero calls from mum, no present was dropped off and she didn’t go to the party. She [the mother] was invited,” they wrote.
The daughter “noticed right away” and was understandably pretty upset, OP says. After all, the mum had apparently “promised her that she would at least call.”
“My daughter sent quite a mad message to her and is ignoring any messages from her mum at the moment,” the Redditor shared.
The poster got an angry call from their kid’s mum
“She called me an asshole for not reminding her at the minimum and that I could have pretended a gift was from her,” they wrote.
The post author responded that it wasn’t their job to remind her of what they called “basic” things, and wanted to know if they were in the wrong for not pretending a present of theirs was really from her, either.
People had *thoughts* in the comments
“NTA [not the a-hole] ― remind her that parenting is a 50/50 job you did your half. She’s just angry she dropped the ball and is looking for someone to blame due to guilt,” one commenter wrote.
“For your daughter’s sake, it would help to maybe let her know mum is stressed with working like most of us now and an adjustment to her lifestyle has affected her ability to be present sometimes.”
Another Redditor said, “That phone she used to call and yell at you? Has a calendar. Use that if you need reminding WHEN YOUR CHILD’S BIRTHDAY IS! Sorry, the idea that she forgot is baffling.”
Yet another commenter opined, “NTA. You are no longer married, nor her social secretary, nor her ‘get out of jail free’ card. She’s an adult, and if she disregards her kid’s birthday, it’s on her.”
They added, “I feel for your daughter, but it’s not her or your fault. If her mom wants a relationship with her, she needs to do at least the minimum.”
What do you think?