Most women have been there; you’ve met a boy, you’re head over heels and all of a sudden, the texts on your phones from the girls are taking longer and longer to reply to. Your interest and urgency to get back to your friends decreases and your attention is entirely drawn to your new significant other.
We can’t blame our female friends when they go through this stage, it’s an entirely natural part of the honeymoon phase in any relationship but we’ve all heard of the saying ‘sisters before misters’ and I can’t stress how there’s actually some real truth to be taken from this saying.
I know from personal experience the value of having genuinely good female friends as a woman and I think I treasure my friendships with my girls more than most because I know how it feels to not have a single female friend in my life.
I got into a relationship just after my 16th birthday and was in this couple until just after my 19th birthday. I was consumed by this relationship and made him my sole focus in life. I didn’t have many strong female friendships before this relationship and the ones I had during this three year period came and went and honestly, I didn’t give it a second thought.
I convinced myself that I was a natural introvert and that I genuinely didn’t need any friends outside my relationship. I wholeheartedly believed that female friendships were more hassle than they were worth and that I was better off having my boyfriend and that was it.
It was only when I went through my breakup with minimal people to turn to that I realised how valuable friends really are, particularly female friends that understand you. I had a couple but I was aware I hadn’t really put the effort in with them before now and it felt wrong to all of a sudden be all over them because I needed them, so as much as I appreciated the small connections I had with a few women in my life, I was still very aware I was quite isolated.
I’ve been blessed that since my breakup, I have become part of the best group of females I could’ve ever asked for. I had an unjustified view of what female friendship groups were like; I assumed they were volatile, judgemental and just plain nasty but in reality? They are the best support network any woman could ask for.
In a world where so many females, including myself, place the opinion men have of them so highly and take it so seriously, we often undervalue what our female friends think of us and their opinions on our lives. We don’t give the same credit to a compliment off our female friends as we do a man we find attractive. We don’t believe our friends as easily when they tell us we’re doing well as we do when a male tells us but that needs to change.
Female friendships are empowering, they’re motivating, they’re a comfort blanket and a support system when you need it the most. The females in my life encourage me, they guide me, they pick me up when I can’t pick myself up and above all, the love female friends have for each other is unconditional.
No matter what you do wrong and I have done things wrong, your female friends will not turn on you. True female friends aren’t there to judge you or to make your feel guilty for your mistakes. They’re the network you can turn to when you’ve messed up in the worst way and need people who have your best interest at heart to help you make things right.
No matter how in love you are with your other half, no matter how perfect your relationship is right now, do not lose the strength in your female friendships. Make time for your female friends because in doing that, you’re making time for yourself, away from your relationship.
Time with your female friends is a time to unwind, talk about things that often only fellow women understand, run things in your life past other people with different perspectives. Female friendships are a valuable part of every woman’s life and after having to go through a time with no friendships of this kind, I will always remember to put my sisters before my mister, or at least put them in the exact same place in my priorities.
I will never be able to credit the women in my life enough for what they do for me. As a woman who has lived without fellow females as friends, I can see the value of these relationships so much clearer. I feel a better version of myself for having the influence of these women in my life. They push me to be kinder, to think about others before myself but to also to be selfish and self-motivated in all the right ways.
If you’ve become consumed within a relationship or even your own life and haven’t text your female friends in a little while, whether they’re waiting for a reply off you or not, pick up the phone and call them today. Keep connected with the women in your life because as beautiful and valuable as relationships can be, when women come together to lift each other up, there’s no force quite like it.