Youβve survived nearly 12 months of parenting and your babyβs first birthday is creeping up on you. So how do you celebrate? And whoβs the party really for?
Itβs a topic mums are currently debating on Mumsnet, where one parent said that a woman at her baby group is throwing an βoverpriced soft playβ for her nearly one-year-old. βShe went as far to say I shouldnβt have a party at all if it isnβt focused fully on the baby,β wrote the mum, who pondered if paying Β£15 per baby for soft play, as well as the cost of balloons and food, was really worth it.
βIs the first birthday for family, or mum and dad, or the baby?β she asked. βI thought we could go for food with our 20 close family members, and have some drinks so they can celebrate his birthday with us!β
Responses seem to be divided. Many argued that a baby wouldnβt notice (or care) what happens on their first birthday and advised the mum to put the money in a savings account rather than trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Another parent agreed: βI honestly donβt get the idea of having a big birthday party for a one-year-old. They have no clue whatβs going on, and at one I went to, the kid was so overwhelmed by it all he clung to his mum the whole time!β
But another mum went the other way. Her family are having three celebrations for her sonβs first birthday: a bus to see Fenwickβs Christmas window and an afternoon at Build-A-Bear; a family buffet; and a sensory room experience with eight of his βbaby friendsβ. This way, she said, everyone is happy.
[Read More: As Kidsβ Birthday Parties Get Fancier, Other Parents Are Being Asked To Foot The Bill]
When we asked parents on HuffPost UK, opinions were similarly split. Some parents said they had a small do, agreeing it was mainly for the grown-ups.
While others went all out for the kids...
And others said theyβve learned their lesson second time round...
βNo question, the parties are for adults β not the children,β says Chris McGuire, 39, from Devon, whose son is now two-and-a-half. βAlthough to be honest, theyβre not for the parents either. Parents are so knackered theyβd rather just go and sleep somewhere if they had the chance.β
He believes parents get leant on (mainly) by grandparents to put on a show. βThe child has no idea whatβs going on β itβs just another day for them,β he adds. βGrandparents love it, mainly as an excuse to play oneupmanship with each other of who bought the biggest present.β
Stuart Hood, 38, from London, whose son turns three in January, agrees that a first birthday party is about the grown-ups. His sonβs first birthday was attended almost solely by his friends, only some of whom happened to have kids. The food and drink was aimed at the parents, too.
However, the guest list (and catering) at his sonβs second birthday party was much more skewed to the under-twos, he reveals. Those friends of his? Not so many of them turned up and Hood predicts his third party will be even more so
So, to throw a first birthday party or not to throw one? Cathy Ranson, editor of ChannelMum.com, sums it up well: βCelebrating a childβs birthday is never pointless but donβt feel under pressure to lay on a bigger bash than you can afford. Instead, do what makes you happy. A babyβs first birthday is about the memories youβll create and the photos youβll look back on in years to come.β
She adds: βYou made it, that first tough year of parenting. And whether you want to celebrate with family and friends or other babies is entirely your choice.β
Advice on first birthdays, from those whoβve been there:
** Avoid them like the plague, says McGuire, theyβre a very stressful way of remembering what was probably the most stressful day of the parentsβ life so far.
** If you must have one, make it a small affair. And remember, donβt over-stock on the salad. Nobody ever eats it.
** Pick a venue that your child has been to before and is unlikely to get freaked out by.
** Donβt spend too much on his or her outfit (as there is a 50/50 chance of them pooping on it)
** Select a start time that fits with your childβs routine β and naps. We all know how exhausting partying can be!