The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Having a random hobby as an adult is actually hilarious. You’ll be having a day delivered directly from hell but then gotta suck it up to get to tap class by 6:30pm.
— KAYA NOVA (@thekayanova) October 24, 2024
I could never be a 911 operator. Whenever someone would call I’d be like OMG
— Natalie (@jbfan911) October 20, 2024
i realized the other day millennials use lol the same way operators would use stop in morse code and now i can't unsee it
— hegelian vs predator (@reachrachelkahn) October 20, 2024
When no one at the group dinner wants appetizers and then they say some shit like “But if you want the artichoke dip you should totally get it.” Bitch u know full well I’m not gonna get an artichoke dip platter for one. The dream is dead and u were the one who killed it.
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) October 22, 2024
Finally adjusting to the sun setting so early….as long as it doesn’t start, say, an hour sooner, I should be okay….
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) October 21, 2024
[women are lonely]: well, women just need to lower their standards, change themselves, and put other people's needs first
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) October 20, 2024
[men are lonely]: well, women just need to lower their standards, change themselves, and put other people's needs first
an actual child gave this to me pic.twitter.com/HJVenJRoy6
— dana heard idsb live (@selslovr) October 21, 2024
today at work this lady said “it’s too bad you don’t have a tip jar. i wanted to leave you guys a tip” i said we do have a tip jar and pointed to it and she said “oh…” and walked away 😭
— earth angel (@kalelvr) October 20, 2024
female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder
— jynx (@jynxbby) October 19, 2024
Good morning, did you have a nice weekend, I ask my 47 open work tabs
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 21, 2024
yall are making people up now https://t.co/iQ5pHVDjhX
— trin (@lovelltrin) October 22, 2024
Please don’t invite me to a restaurant where the vibe is better than the food because babe, I can’t eat the vibe.
— Ego Nwodim (@eggy_boom) October 21, 2024
why does asking people to hang out on your birthday feel like pic.twitter.com/8OTry1Xonb
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) October 23, 2024
i said it was my favourite show, i didn’t say it was good
— ً (@alorazei) October 22, 2024
Nobody:
— assassin bug’s creed (@microgoeswild) October 21, 2024
Nara Smith about to make sloppy joes from scratch starting with slaughtering the cow: https://t.co/sA80MCGW46
we have to talk about whimsy gap relationships like this man made fun of me for going out of my way to step on a crunchy leaf…? if you can’t find joy in the little things it will NEVER work out with me
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) October 21, 2024
i love when i get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here
— miss all sunday 🍉 (@scuriiosa) October 24, 2024
you come to me at 3.59pm asking for something by EOD? when I already decided my day was over? pic.twitter.com/sv3ucTUWL5
— annie-mai (@anniemaisocial) October 21, 2024
you’ll never catch me being nonchalant. i’m a die hard chalanter. always chalanting. giving so many chalants.
— assley titsdale (@ashleypaigey) October 22, 2024
My dad told me that he’s going to meet his girlfriend’s dad. My dad is 71…I’m like y’all going to the cemetery?
— Queen of the Big Backs (@MsBigBack) October 23, 2024
Now he’s got an attitude 🙄
“Hors d'oeuvre” is doing too much https://t.co/mCGoZBLJoQ
— Sarah (@heyaimsarah) October 22, 2024
“We don’t have anymore ‘I VOTED’ stickers”
— The Nostalgia Queen (@Snow_Blacck) October 24, 2024
ME, AN ADULT: pic.twitter.com/pPaEafntH5
how am i supposed to dress for a low in the 40s and a high of 81
— pamela 🎡✨ (@tisthepamseason) October 22, 2024
me on my wedding day pic.twitter.com/zGzaI7nhEz
— Carrie Wittmer 👻 (@carriesnotscary) October 21, 2024
I ordered a capuccino at 1pm in Venice and the grandma running the cafe literally said "it is not breakfast anymore, signora" and gave me an aperol spritz and you know what?
— oh.anny (@ansokoo) October 23, 2024
she was right https://t.co/Erw3MeA7fJ
And they sang it at her wedding https://t.co/UInGLAzzBS pic.twitter.com/YMwMW1EliV
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) October 19, 2024
when i quit my job i'm setting one last OOO message that just says "your email will never find me again"
— trash jones (@jzux) October 24, 2024
nvm just remembered i have free will https://t.co/XYuZXK0E1O
— RB. (@RachealBakunzi) October 19, 2024