Investing in a succulent may seem like a simple enough undertaking (they survive in the desert, after all), but that attitude shows ignorance of the time, dedication and passion that many people bring to plant ownership.
From cactus lovers to fiddle-leaf fig enthusiasts, the funny “plant parents” of Twitter have shared relatable musings about bonding with their potted pets, watching them grow, struggling to keep them alive and more.
Below, we’ve rounded up 30 funny tweets about taking care of plants.
i think my hot neighbor just saw me tell my plants to “have fun!!” as i put them outside to get some sun so that’s sick
— kate (@kaiteasley) February 24, 2021
twitter trolls don’t faze me bc i was once brutally dragged in a houseplant forum for overwatering my fiddle leaf fig tree and i haven’t felt anything since
— alexa (@mariokartdwi) October 10, 2018
Day 5 of Covid-19 house arrest: i put on blue eye shadow & gave all my plants performance reviews
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 16, 2020
watering my plants from my water bottle is so intimate ... like sip 4 u then sip 4 me lolol
— none ya (@loveliYungWoman) August 18, 2020
me tryna leave Lowe’s w/o buying a plant pic.twitter.com/GP02k5ASr6
— Daniel Ray (@danielrbanuelos) July 2, 2020
People who talk to your plants:
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) April 9, 2019
What do you say? Is it mainly just compliments and encouragement? Do you gossip to them? Recap Brooklyn Nine-Nine? I want to explore this practice but I already feel like I'm giving my plants the same canned lines.
Went to check why one of my plants was lopsided in its pot and......oh..... pic.twitter.com/ZUxcNSyVUb
— owl lang syne 🍓 (@tytonidaeus) June 17, 2018
me: :)
— jonny sun’s new book is out now!! (@jonnysun) February 19, 2019
houseplant: 🌱
me: :)
houseplant: 🌱
me: :)
houseplant: 🌿
me: :D
succulent: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) October 18, 2019
me: it's been a few weeks, i thought you might want some water
succulent: NO
a potted plant does what now pic.twitter.com/qpdt5YQmqQ
— madeleine holden (@madeleinecholia) January 17, 2021
me and my plants be vibing in my room i mean them mfs dead but this vibe is immaculate
— abs (@tropicanapussy) August 6, 2020
does anyone know how to keep potted plants and flowers alive? and do NOT say water regularly because i do NOT intend on doing that
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) June 22, 2018
my houseplants seeing me approach with a watering can for the second time in three days pic.twitter.com/nzglb6A407
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) March 25, 2020
a month ago i googled the easiest plant to take care of and bought it and now it’s dead
— kelly (@BoyYeetsWorld) July 10, 2020
Asked my mom to open the blinds for my plants and she really just went above and beyond. pic.twitter.com/JOXjsrHFgn
— Regan Speyer (@ReganSpeyer) March 27, 2019
Managed to keep my house plant alive for three weeks this time. I think I'm ready to be a mom!
— moody monday (@mdob11) June 29, 2013
i think my plant is dying idk what to do i give it water and sunlight please help it doesn’t have health insurance
— James (@CaucasianJames) September 1, 2019
I give the new plant 3 days pic.twitter.com/9ccFKQF6ka
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) March 9, 2019
My plants get so excited when a plant or tree comes on TV.
— Luwanda (@LuwandaJenkins) July 29, 2014
Renaissance ladies: oh this plant? Deadly nightshade? The murder eggplant cousin? Yeah I put that in my eyes to give them that certain je ne sais quoi
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) October 1, 2020
me: *posts photo of plant i bought* do any lesbians know what plant this is and why it’s dying?
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) November 22, 2020
my DMs: pic.twitter.com/urOdnwtKIg
next time your therapist tries to do a mental health assessment, just show them pics of ur houseplants
— Marissa Miller (@Marissa__Miller) April 16, 2018
me at the start of quarantine: i think ill try and be positive, and i won't try to fix things by getting lots of plants
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) April 14, 2020
me now: pic.twitter.com/wh1U7yC1VH
I wonder if houseplants ever look around & think “how did my life decisions lead me here?”
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 27, 2020
A friend gave me a house plant that I'll surely kill so I'm never inviting that friend over again.
— 🌴 Envy 🌴 (@envydatropic) June 5, 2020
I think I'd be good at politics. Like, I just told one of my houseplants that it's my favorite but it's totally not.
— Kendra Alvey 👻 (@Kendragarden) November 2, 2016
me, 16: why do ppl own plants lmao
— jonny sun’s new book is out now!! (@jonnysun) September 9, 2017
me, 26, filling my empty heart by filling my room w plants: my first language is & always has been Nature
Do you give your houseplants people names or are you a monster? Anyway, meet Carol. pic.twitter.com/t05q7ApctV
— Sarah Sweeney (@heysarahsweeney) November 29, 2020
millennial culture is buying a bunch of potted succulents to fulfill your evolutionary desire to care for something during your prime reproductive years
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) July 22, 2019
here i am casually spending time with my plants pic.twitter.com/ikPRR4AHMa
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) June 12, 2020
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