Funny Tweets That Sum Up Your 20s vs. Your 30s

"Sure, a night out at a crowded bar in your 20s is cool, but have you ever shopped for groceries in an empty store in your 30s?"

Every decade of life comes with its own highs and lows. Still, sometimes the contrast between those experiences couldn’t feel more jarring.

This is especially true for the formative years of your 20s and 30s. Over time, many of the funny folks on Twitter have shared musings about the difference between those two decades ― from the changes in how they choose to spend weekends to their overall approach to life, love and everything in between.

Below, we’ve rounded up 35 relatable tweets about life in your 20s vs. your 30s.

Taking a risk in my 20s: Skydiving

Taking a risk in my 30s: Throwing out a box of cords

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 8, 2022

General pain in my 20s: "Hmmm this is annoying."

General pain in my 30s: "So, I guess this is how it all ends. I've had a good run."

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 20, 2018

Packing in my 20s: Toothbrush and bikini

Packing in my 30s: Those things plus a swim suit cover up, 3 face creams, hair products to cover up postpartum hair loss, spanks, sensible shoes, and denture cream.

— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) October 10, 2019

Walk of shame in your 20s:
*You already know.*

Walk of shame in your 30s:

You forgot that Monday was a holiday - and the curbside waste pickup was pushed back a day - so you have to wheel your trash barrels full of shame back in so no one thinks you’re an idiot.

— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) April 23, 2020

concerts in my 20s: hell yeah this rocks i love staying up until 4am

concerts in my 30s: 7pm is too late to start things i have to work in 12 hours

— Admiral Snaccbar 🏳️🌈 (@SimplySnaccbar) August 18, 2019

Mid 20s and single: This hotel has the best bar!

Mid 30s with two kids: This hotel has the best pillows!!

— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) April 9, 2018

pride in your 20s vs pride in your 30s pic.twitter.com/721f9RhHTY

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) January 21, 2022

Weird to go from watching friends freak out abt pregnancy scares in their 20s to them posting creative pregnancy announcements in their 30s

— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) March 2, 2016

the biggest thing about being in your 20s is that people in their 30s will, unprompted, say, "thank god i'm not in my 20s anymore," and you just have to nod and be like haha ok

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) March 21, 2020

Me, in my teens: This radio station is playing my jams.

Me, in my 20s: This bar is playing my jams.

Me, in my 30s: This grocery store is playing my jams.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 17, 2020

10s: [gets fishnet gloves with halloween witch costume]
20s: [buys fishnets for the club]
30s [uses fishnets to make thrifty produce bags]

— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) September 1, 2016

In my 20s: Listening to heavy metal

In my 30s: Listening to lullaby versions of heavy metal songs to get my baby to sleep

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) February 26, 2022

20s: finding myself
30s: feeling myself

— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) June 1, 2016

Me in my 20s: I'm never gonna turn into my dad.

Me in my 30s: WHO LEFT ALL THE LIGHTS ON DO YOU THINK I'M MADE OF MONEY

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 19, 2018

“going to the bar” in your 20s: leaving your apartment to party with friends

“going to the bar” in your 30s: walking six feet from the bed to the kitchen to get a granola bar

— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) February 20, 2022

drinking in my 20s made me feel sexy and fun but drinking in my 30s just makes me feel fat and tired and no one told me life was going to be this way clap clap clap clap

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 16, 2021

Drinking coffee in your 20s: Now I can do ANYTHING!

Drinking coffee in your 30s: Now I can do a few hours of my life

— The Dad (@thedad) November 29, 2022

In my 20s: Sad a boy I loved caused me heartache.

In my 30s: Sad a food I loved caused me heartburn.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 27, 2018

In my 20s: What is “rage cleaning?”

In my 30s: Where is my good sponge? Where is my good sponge!?!?! WHERE IS MY GOOD SPONGE!?!?!

— Becca Carnahan (@with_love_becca) October 30, 2019

Sex in my 20s: twist me up like a pretzel baby I can do this all night

Sex in my 30s: can we wrap this up I have a charley horse and somehow this orgasm gave me a headache

— To Erin is Human (@Mom_Overboard) November 15, 2021

Sure, a night out at a crowded bar in your 20s is cool, but have you ever shopped for groceries in an empty store in your 30s?

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 3, 2021

My 20s: eye of the tiger

My 30s: I walk into walls

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 4, 2021

20s: I want to be a successful lawyer with my own firm

30s: I want whatever this is pic.twitter.com/WnQNaInxsF

— Matt Margolis (@ItsMattsLaw) August 25, 2022

[covered in glitter]

in my 20s: crazy night at the club

in my 30s: craft night w/ my kids

— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) October 5, 2021

my twitter in my 20s: *thirsty tweets about darren criss*

my twitter in my 30s: *thirsty tweets about low blood pressure*

— Robbie Couch (@robbie_couch) October 13, 2022

Peer Pressure:

20s: Here, drink this and that guy is cute. You should fuck him.

30s: We need another cake for the bake sale. Can you help?

— Northern Lights 🦖🐢🐸 (@PinkCamoTO) May 28, 2016

Me in my 20s: Casually does shots of tequila with my mid week tacos and feels nothing

Me in my 30s: Accidentally takes an afternoon nap and can't function for the rest of the day

— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) October 9, 2022

20s: Let's have some drinks before we go out for drinks.

30s: *In pjs at 7PM* These chin hairs won't pluck themselves.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) March 30, 2018

A fun night of clubbing is to your 20s what replacing your shower curtain liner is to your 30s

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 17, 2022

Showing off In my 20s: guys watch me cliff jump!!

Showing off in my late 30s: guys watch me eat tomato based food at 9pm!

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 3, 2020

Friendship musts in my 20s: honesty, loyalty, tons in common

In my 30s: don't remind me what I sobbed over the night before after 7 wines

— Val (@ValeeGrrl) March 22, 2016

Me, in my 20s waking up hungover looking at my phone: Ugh, who did I call last night??

Me, in my 30s waking up not hungover looking at my phone: Ugh, what did I order online last night??

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 15, 2022

The main difference between my 20s and my 30s was I finally got a chip clip.

— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) July 14, 2022

IN YOUR 20s: ugh i think i kind of overdid the shots, im gonna be a wreck in the morning

IN YOUR 30s: ugh i think i kind of overdid the cheese, im gonna have to cancel my plans for the next 48 hours

— Val (@ValeeGrrl) April 4, 2018

Considering a job

In my 20s: do you ever provide lunch?

In my 30s: I'm going to need to study your benefits package

— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) October 15, 2021
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