The Government Is Advertising The Most Perfect Job For Every Brit Right Now

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The government is advertising the ideal job right now
The government is advertising the ideal job right now
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The government’s department for transport is advertising for a new “head of uncertainty” – probably the most fitting job title for everyone in the UK right now.

With three prime ministers in less than two months, a new monarch, economic chaos, the plunging value of the pound, growing worries about climate change, a cost of living crisis and looming recession to boot, this role sounds like it encompasses British life right down to a (cup of) tea.

The job title in full is “head of uncertainty and scenarios”, and requires applications before 11.55pm on Monday, November 7 2022.

It sounds like it simply means the successful candidate would head up a division for forward-planning, but the actual title advertised is certainly drawing some attention.

OK, so it does later specify that this is a civil service role for “an experienced economist” with a degree in economics, who would sit in the transport appraisal and strategic modelling division....

But, then it says the role calls for “seeing the Big Picture”, “making Effective Decisions” and “Delivering at Pace”.

After a series of screeching U-turns from former prime minister Liz Truss and her successor Rishi Sunak’s vow to “fix” these errors “immediately”, the job description sounds particularly appropriate for the government right now.

Of course, Twitter took aim at the fact that this is a department for transport role, at a time when rail strikes and general train chaos have gripped the network.

Are we sure this isn’t just the new title for whoever’s in charge of the timetables? https://t.co/4sTGZBsTri

— Chris McKeon (@cjmckeon) October 27, 2022

Going to have their work cut out... https://t.co/OtmiRJSWo0

— Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) October 27, 2022

Job for you here @AvantiWestCoast https://t.co/iIngneQCm0

— Bobbie Hough (@bobbiehough) October 27, 2022

Others tried to imagine what the interview process (and the job) would actually entail...

"When could you start?"
"Can't say"
"You're hired"

— Andy G (@BornAgainBantam) October 26, 2022

Interview questions?

“Tell us why you’re the best person for the job?”

“Here’s a few stories of why I may not be.” https://t.co/zraGAnh1rE

— Alastair Somerville (@Acuity_Design) October 27, 2022

Instructions unclear. Cars are now banned https://t.co/uWd2qz0FxP

— Tom Fear 🦇 (@ThisIsTomFair) October 27, 2022

To be partnered with the Head of Bad Vibes and Schemes https://t.co/4IZM4L1REO

— Zack Fox (@ZackFoxFilm) October 27, 2022

Some people thought it was perfect for them (potentially).

Oh my god I would love to be the Minister of Chaos or the Head of Irrational Thoughts https://t.co/2gJu8PLk9k

— Hantuology of Marx 🇸🇬 (@barisanhantu) October 27, 2022

I have never wanted a job more https://t.co/1NAnLhAtON

— Suzanne D'Arcy (@electric_susie) October 27, 2022

It’s a job where you have to overthink and invent scenarios that will probably never happen but you still panic about? This is my perfect job! https://t.co/DjLmq4vo6K

— Haunted Geodesic Mansion, MA☭ (@RedJolt) October 27, 2022

I don't know if I want this job so I'm probably qualified https://t.co/bB8fODOCkV

— Elliot (Birthday Mode) (@ElliotBaggott) October 27, 2022

Literally everyone's job at the moment https://t.co/Q3EqIgu2Si

— Oisín Rogers (@McMoop) October 27, 2022

And some accounts who really couldn’t believe such a title was real.

You couldn’t make it up… https://t.co/XkzvpbQs8q

— ManxCat637 (@ManxCat637) October 27, 2022

Straight out of central casting for The Thick of It. https://t.co/mLAPozF1zY

— Tudor Evans (@CouncillorTudor) October 27, 2022
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