Grammar errors happen. So do grammar corrections from English language nerds.
Whether you can’t help but point out an issue with punctuation or word usage or can’t help but troll the people who do so, you’re certainly not alone. We’ve rounded up 55 funny tweets about grammar.
if you try to correct my grammar, i will think fewer of you
— Sammy (@thesammyhannah) January 24, 2021
*swigs tequila*
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 2, 2017
*slams down shot glass*
*stretches triceps*
*jogs in place*
F yeah. Let's do this.
*points out grammar mistakes on Facebook*
I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) November 10, 2020
Sorry, bad punctuation.
I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
[screams into the abyss]
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 14, 2016
SOMETIMES THE WRONG GRAMMAR MAKES THE JOKE SOUND BETTER
Guys. I have not been so excited in maybe a year. Someone just corrected my grammar online but they're incorrect.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) August 25, 2015
little known fact: the em dash is actually named after noted dash fan emily dickinson
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) December 10, 2019
Earth, Wind and Fire doesn't give two beans about your Oxford comma.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 16, 2017
me flirting: so here’s why what you just said was grammatically incorrect
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) November 26, 2017
I used to love correcting people's grammar until I realized what I loved more was having friends.
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) February 8, 2014
I can’t stand people who has bad grammar.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 22, 2020
there's a typo in my last tweet but grammar wasn't even codified until relatively recently and also death comes for us all
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 6, 2016
me deleting the oxford comma from a post so it meets the character limit pic.twitter.com/RkTYwzLyBz
— girlboss don biggaveli (@rwxoxo) August 7, 2017
People who have terrible grammar on the internet should go to they'reapy
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 5, 2014
My wife, who’s a copy editor, tells me that to encourage distancing, the MLA has gone back to two spaces after a period.
— Keith A. Eddins (@EugeneinOregon) March 22, 2020
I don't want to brag but I managed to use the following in one sentence: a colon; a semicolon; em dashes—you know that's right—AND quotation marks in what many people are saying is "the best sentence of all time."
— ⚓️🚢Imani Gandy 🚢⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) November 24, 2020
*blows smoke off finger guns*
The annoying thing about having incredible grammar skills is how everyone wants to have sex with I.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) October 23, 2018
gonna make a bumper sticker for my car that says "MY KID IS SMARTER THAN YOU'RE KID" just to troll the grammar nazis behind me
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) February 20, 2017
If you’re wondering how punctuation can be used to create suspense,
— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) January 20, 2020
It’s called a semicolon because people only use it correctly half the time. The other half it’s used for a winky emoticon symbol.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 18, 2014
*Corrects the grammar on your Christmas card and mails it back*
— Marl (@Marlebean) December 7, 2014
Grammar Police: Do you know why I pulled you over?
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 28, 2017
Me: So you'd have an excuse to end a sentence with a preposition?
GP: You're free to go.
when i die i hope god shows me all the commas i forgot to put in my writing
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 12, 2018
Wife: I’m leaving you.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) September 20, 2018
Me: is it because I’m the universal blood donor type but I never donate blood?
Wife: no, it’s because of your terrible grammatical errors in everything you write.
Me: [whispers] type-o.
Two scientists walk into a bar.
— Diane Turnshek (@DianeTurnshek) December 8, 2017
"I'll have H2O," says the 1st.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the 2nd.
Bartender gives them water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
Who vs. whom grammar tip:
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 4, 2015
Use "who" if you can substitute "he/she."
Use "whom" if you're a pretentious douche who likes to sound smart.
What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left, and then having to decide which grammar crime to commit.
— Cora (@vintageortacky) December 20, 2011
Please know that when I correct your grammar, I do it with love.
— Northern Lights 🦖🦎🐢 (@PinkCamoTO) March 2, 2017
As well as a smug sense of superiority.
(sees Liam Neeson on the street) Hey, dummy, it's "what I do have IS a very particular set of skills. Not 'are.' Guess grammar isn't one o
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) May 28, 2015
My copyeditor has corrected 'you've another thing coming' to 'you've another think coming' and I just googled it and she's right and now everything I've ever known is a lie
— Tammy Cohen (@MsTamarCohen) January 19, 2019
deleting tweets that contain grammatical errors and tweeting them again as if nobody saw it the first time >>>
— B (@bernetteisqueen) August 14, 2020
Just remembered when I taught myself basic Hindi so I could speak to grandfather on his death bed and his final words to me were correcting my grammar
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) August 17, 2018
I am haunted by nothing but the commas I got wrong.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 2, 2020
Coworker of mine couldn't remember the name for ellipsis and called them DRAMA DOTS and now I will too forever thanks
— Will Taylor (@InkAndHive) February 24, 2020
"I'm a copy-editor"
— David East (@davideastUK) February 10, 2020
- boring
- who cares
- what does that even mean
"I am here to right what has gone wrong"
- mysterious
- ominous
- maybe you have a sword
Sometimes I throw, in a few extra commas just, so they can hang out,, and catch up,,,
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 20, 2018
While y’all were watching the debate, I spent 30 minutes texting someone about reflexive pronouns and the proper use of “myself,” so I’m pretty sure we all know who the winner was tonight.
— ⚓️🚢Imani Gandy 🚢⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) August 1, 2019
My mother. The copy editor. The grammar task master. She’s the reason for this.
High School English teacher: so when in doubt, insert a comma anywhere you would naturally pause when speaking
— maura quint (@behindyourback) June 9, 2016
15 y/o William Shatner: o, k
8yo is writing a story. Her antagonist has written a letter, I said she needed a question mark, "Villains don't care about punctuation!"
— Karen Cole 💙 (@karlou) November 15, 2015
I hope I can still correct people's grammar when I'm a ghost
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 9, 2014
Kerouac doesn't obey grammar rules: HE'S A SUBVERSIVE LITERARY GENIUS
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) April 7, 2016
Girl on the internet does same: IT'S THE DOWNFALL OF THE WRITTEN WORD
Writer: "Is it 'firsthand' or 'first hand'?"
— AJ ⚾️ (@NCSox) October 29, 2017
Editor: "Either one is fine." pic.twitter.com/36xHxrG9q1
me, young, not cool *knows when and how to properly use a colon and semi-colon*
— maura quint (@behindyourback) July 12, 2018
me, way too old, very cool *never capitalizes anything and abandons commas like they were the accidental prom baby I never wanted*
[Ouija board]
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 12, 2016
“Who am I speaking to?”
ACTUALLY, IT'S "WITH WHOM AM I SPEAKING?"
“It’s a grammar Nazi ghost! Abort! Abort!”
Before sex I like to listen to my favorite podcast about grammar
— grace spelman: spokeswoman for loving alan alda (@GraceSpelman) May 22, 2015
You know I genuinely loved your tweet because I retweeted it despite the grammatical errors.
— Naazihah (@naazihah) March 3, 2013
me: when I sign off emails with simply “Love Karen” it’s not bc I forgot the middle comma!! It’s bc it’s an order to love me :-)
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) December 4, 2018
potential employer: that makes this even weirder
I dreamt I gave a TED Talk about the importance of the Oxford comma. Ok, I was awake.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) March 24, 2018
Journalists: ~grammar~ 😌✨
— Stacy Fernández (@StacyFernandezB) October 8, 2020
Also journalists:
Lede
Graf
Hed
Dek
Grammar Fun Fact: A group of teenagers is called "a shit."
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) November 25, 2012
i hope a lot of yall's comma keys on all your keyboards die in a fire bc yall be ABUSING
— tracy the business goose (@brokeymcpoverty) December 30, 2016
COMMAS AREN’T PEOPLE. https://t.co/dO1EzRygNw
— Robyn D’Banche (@supershadiobro) December 6, 2017
Trump: I am illegally defunding the Post Office so less people can vote.
— Michael Green (@andmichaelgreen) August 13, 2020
Democrats: *fewer
let’s keep that period inside those quotation marks babygirl 🤪🤪🤪🤪
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) June 12, 2020
Instagram added a period to the end of its notifications making them grammatically correct as if I didn't want to marry instagram already
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) December 11, 2014
When you abandon all grammar and punctuation, it’s hard for me to tell if you’re terrible at writing sentences or great at writing poetry.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 29, 2013
Before You Go
