The Tale Of One Woman's 'Exploding' Gwyneth Paltrow Vagina Candle Sets The Internet On Fire

"This settles it. I’m getting the Gwyneth Paltrow anus candle instead."
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When you’ve forked out 70 quid for a candle, you want it to, you know, work rather than explode.

So spare a thought for the woman who was gifted one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s luxe candles from her Goop lifestyle brand, only for it to go up in the wrong kind of flames when it exploded in her London home.

And, this wasn’t just any old candle. It was a vagina-scented candle, which the Goop website describes as having “a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.”

Gwynnie has described it as “a little bit punk rock.”

The candle is “made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed,” none of which are normally found in a vagina.

After Londoner Jody Thompson lit the candle, it “exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room,” she told The Sun.

Twitter, naturally, had a lot of thoughts…

How do we know it wasn't just faking it? https://t.co/YCVNt2Og8W

— Brittlestar (@brittlestar) January 18, 2021

This settles it. I’m getting the Gwyneth Paltrow Anus candle instead.

— Human Tilapia (@HumanTilapia) January 18, 2021

Exploding Vagina Candle was the name of my new wave band back in college. https://t.co/ldcNPgRHqr

— Curtis Stigers (@curtisstigers) January 18, 2021

If you've ever used an exploding candle that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina then don't worry about what's in the vaccine https://t.co/gntWwhmIHo

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 18, 2021

Ladies and gentlemen, a lucky UK woman has become the first of FIVE to find an exploding vagina candle and win a tour of Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Factory... pic.twitter.com/tk5E2k0KvJ

— RandomWillRoe (@RandomWillRoe) January 18, 2021

Big wick energy https://t.co/Q9OLAdOKtC

— mark normand (@marknorm) January 18, 2021

Genuinely too embarrassed to post the joke I have for this because my mum reads my Twitter https://t.co/C8STOwuJxf

— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) January 18, 2021

fire crews thrushed to the scene https://t.co/R5VN3ooIIY

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) January 18, 2021

I hope the woman in question is okay - but I do find this fanny. https://t.co/I9y51jcVkT

— Marcoooos! (@marcusbrig) January 18, 2021

there's nothing left to say about anything. everything that can happen is happening, for no reason, all the time. i'm going to bed https://t.co/hvlciWExup

— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) January 18, 2021

We’re happy to report that all ended well after Jody “eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door.”

The candle is still available on the Goop site.

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