Nearly half (47%) of people diagnosed with cancer said they found it hard to ask for help from friends, family and colleagues after they were diagnosed, according to research from Race for Life.
Four in 10 (43%) of those admitted they feared being pitied and by three in 10 (30%) name pressure to “stay strong” around family and friends as the reason they kept quiet.
It’s something Chris Pearce, from Northamptonshire, can relate to all too well. Pearce was diagnosed with a rare lung cancer in 2014 that meant he needed half of his lung removed. He’s now in remission, but found it difficult to open up when he received his diagnosis.
“Hearing I had cancer was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and I did find it difficult speaking to my family and friends about it because I didn’t want them to have to carry my burden,” he says.
“My mum was my biggest support throughout. Although I didn’t want to worry her more, I couldn’t have got through it without her.”
Esther Fox, 56, from Glasgow, also had a similar experience. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017 and is now cancer free, but struggled with showing her emotions at home.
“I never cried at home about my breast cancer diagnosis because my husband was so distraught that I felt I couldn’t show my feelings,” she recalls.
“I felt like I needed to stay strong for my family and friends. You don’t realise how much a cancer diagnosis affects the whole family and they go through the trauma and fear with you.”
She added that she doesn’t know what she would have done without the support of her son, Robert.
The research showed that women find it harder than men to ask for help following a cancer diagnosis. According to the study of 500 UK adults diagnosed with cancer both recently and in the past, more than half of (58%) female cancer patients found it difficult to reach out to their loved ones, in comparison to around a third of (36%) male patients.
On average, it takes women 10 days to talk to their friends and family about their diagnosis, whereas men take six days to open up.
Martin Ledwick, head information nurse at Cancer Research UK said: “On our helpline, we speak to people every day who find it hard to talk to their family and friends about how they’re feeling. Usually this is because they don’t want to be a burden or are frightened of getting emotional but talking helps and can bring people together.”
Even though nearly half of those diagnosed with cancer reported they struggled to open up, 43% of respondents agreed they felt better once they had spoken to their loved ones about how they were feeling.
Respondents also cited seeing friends (41%), socialising (29%) and being physically active (28%) as activities that helped them feel better during their treatment.
The research has been released by Race for Life, in partnership with Tesco, to encourage people across the country to join their local event with their own support network.
For the first time, Race for Life events are now open to men, women and children of all abilities, joining forces to beat cancer. There are more than 400 events across the UK between May and October, and money raised supports research into all 200 types of cancer.
“Family and friends want to be supportive, but often don’t know how best to support their loved one,” said Martin Ledwick. “As well as talking, taking part in events like Race for Life is a great way for groups to join together and support people with cancer, whilst helping fund life-saving cancer research.”