We’re a few weeks into season 9 of Love Island and it’s getting hot inside the villa. Connections have been formed, people have been pulled for multiple chats and feelings have been caught – for several people at once.
Olivia, Zara, and Tom found themselves in a bit of a love triangle. Zara and Olivia both had feelings for Tom, and Tom seemed to be interested in both ladies –t his was until Zara dumped Tom during yesterday’s episode. Ron also saw his head turn when bombshell Ellie walked into the villa – although he has eyes for Lana.
The aim of Love Island is to find love, but how easy can that be when you have several prospects at once?
Jessica Alderson, a relationship expert at So Syncd, says depending on how many people you’re dating, seeing multiple people can be tricky.
“It can be difficult to keep track of what you’ve said to each person,” Alderson says.
“For example, you might have told someone about a weekend trip you are going on with your friends, but you may not remember who exactly you shared this with. If you’re not used to dating multiple people or if you’ve got a lot going on, it can be hard to keep up with all the different conversations,” Alderson says.
However, there are some benefits to getting to know several people at the same time.
What are the benefits of dating multiple people?
There are three main benefits to dating multiple people at once, according to Alderson.
“It means you don’t unnecessarily cut off other potential dating options, it stops you from becoming overly focused on one person too early, and it can give you a better idea of what you’re looking for in a partner,” she says.
1. Dating multiple people at once helps you avoid missing out on other potential partners before you are in a committed relationship.
“It can be detrimental to mentally commit to one person if you haven’t discussed being exclusive,” Alderson explains.
She continues: “they might still be dating other people, and you don’t want to hold out for someone who might not be available further down the line. Taking your time getting to know various individuals ensures that you’re not prematurely cutting off options before you’ve discussed being exclusive.”
2. Dating multiple people simultaneously stops you from becoming too focused on one person early on.
It can be easy to become overly invested in one person, especially when you feel a deep connection from the get-go. “While this is a great sign, it’s important to properly get to know someone before you commit real time and energy to them,” Alderson adds.
“People can sense when you’re too focused on them, and it can be a turn-off if it’s too soon, especially if they know you haven’t had time to get to know the real them. No one wants to feel like you’re falling in love with an idea of who they are rather than their authentic selves.”
3. Dating multiple people can help you diversify your dating pool and give you a better sense of what kind of relationship you want in the long run.
“When you go on dates with multiple people, you can observe different traits and behaviors. This can help you to understand what type of partner suits you best.”
What should you consider when dating multiple people?
Dating several people isn’t easy so it’s essential that you consider whether you like each person or you’re just doing it for the sake of it. “While there are certainly benefits to dating people simultaneously, it’s not worth continuing to date something that you’re not interested in — it’s not fair to lead someone on and use them as a distraction,” Alderson says.
“Not only that, but it will be draining for you to spend time with people you know aren’t right for you.”
Dating several people at once can also be time-consuming. “It can turn into a juggling act, especially when you’re trying to balance work, family, and social commitments.”
“It takes a certain amount of emotional energy to get to know someone properly, so when you spread yourself too thin among multiple people amidst the business of everyday life, it can become exhausting.”
It can be even more exhausting for those who are more introverted and have limited social energy. “In short, don’t force yourself to date, multiple people, if you simply don’t have the time. If you’re already struggling to find the time to see one person, it’s probably not wise to add more people into the mix.”
You should also remember to be honest with everyone involved. “You don’t have to come out on a first date and say that you’re seeing other people, but if the topic comes up, it’s important, to be honest about your situation,” Alderson explains.
“While it can be a difficult conversation to have, it’s only fair to be open with the people you are dating. If you dodge the conversation or you aren’t transparent, you can end up hurting their feelings in the long run.”