I can only apologise for our sharing the fact that alligator penises are pretty much constantly erect.
But if it helps to make up for it, we have a far more uplifting (bad word choice?) bit of info about crocodilian creatures ― crocodiles swim, or at least float, in a really, really, reassuringly stupid way.
A presenter for CTV This Morning shared in 2020, “You know when a crocodile you see on the surface of the water looks so scary... what you don’t know is what they look like under the water.”
Which is?
In a clip shared on TikTok by@animals012, a crocodile was seen floating in a clear-sided tank.
The vessel allowed the camera user to see the rest of the croc’s body under its menacing head ― a body which was simply dangling straight below its intimidating snout like a fishing float.
Turns out there’s some serious science behind the spectacle. National Geographic writes that crocodiles and alligators “use their lungs like floats, and shift them about their torso using four sets of muscles.”
Zoologist Adam Britton told Newsweek, “The legs are splayed in a classic stabilising manner [in the viral video], and you can see the belly is enlarged because the lungs are extended toward the belly so pushing the guts into a smaller space.”
He added, “The only difference [in the video] is the crocodile has its body angled down at a steep angle, which is more common with juveniles and sub-adults.”
However, the croc is floating rather than swimming, as swimming involves moving their tail or legs ― unless the current is helping them along.
Nonetheless National Geographic says that floating is how crocs sneak up on their prey as thrashing legs and tails might give them away.
So depending on how deep the water is, crocs with murder on their minds might well bob their way to their prey like the one in the video.
The post recently got a second life
A re-post of the clip by CASTROVANIA, shared last month, garnered some incredulous comments on TikTok.
“It’s 4 AM, I can’t breathe,” one commenter said, while another wrote, “I refuse to believe this.”
“What Instagram sees vs. reality,” another TikToker commented.
“Is nobody gonna talk about how he’s moving without moving?” yet another app user asked.
All I know is I’m going to find those cinematic shots of crocodile eyes peering perilously over the water a lot, lot less scary from now on...