I've come to the horrific and somewhat unexpected realisation over the past 24 hours that I'm a pushover mum. And I am devastated.
You see, I thought we ran a pretty tight ship. No Haribo for breakfast, bed at the same time every night, meals around the table as a family and the remembrance of manners at appropriate times, especially with the golden generations.
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So when I asked my friends on Facebook if and how they got their kids to help around the house I was stopped in my tracks by the response. And I realised then that I was definitely a pushover mum.
We get up, I lay out the clothes. I brush the teeth. We venture downstairs and I make the breakfast. I clear away said breakfast. I lace up the shoes, wipe the faces, comb the hair, carry the school bags and keep the dinner money safe. Total pushover.
Based on my proud parenting achievements of having well spoken, well slept and well vegetabled-up children, it had totally passed me by that I was chasing them around like a right sucker.
So I sat back with a glass (or maybe more) of a good Rioja last night and pondered how this sorry state of affairs had come to be. And I realised in my tiny tired mind that I was running about like a crazy lady after my kids because I thought it was easier - and quicker. Because somehow, teaching your kids to visually assess whether a school jumper has another day in it or is ready for the wash basket is just way too much stress.
Getting them to wash their bits and bobs as well as their bellies (plus knees, feet, arms and faces) is just mind numbingly over-time-consuming. So I do it. Please tell me there are other sufferers out there too?!
So it's time to get straight and figure out a way to overcome the nanny state that I've created in my home. When I asked the question about getting kids to help around the house on Facebook, pretty much 90% of my so much smarter mum friends said that they hold back pocket money and screen time until the keep has been earned. Changing the wifi password seemed to be a clear winner too.
So as of tomorrow, there will be no Power Rangers until beds are made. The wifi will remain switched off until Cheerios are eaten and bowls are washed. If they want pocket money then teeth will be brushed without me clamping a face under my armpit and forcing toothpaste around small mouths.
I write with tense anticipation; my shoulders up by my ears and teeth clenched. I drift off for a moment and imagine the serene mornings, peaceful evenings and satisfaction of raising such lovely, self sufficient children....and then I reach back for the Rioja and remember that I have two boys age 5 and 9 and if they simply wipe their faces a bit before school then really, we're all winning at life.
Oh, and then I remember that I have a husband too....
Catherine is mum of two boys, Sully age 5 and Noah age 9. She lives in Oxford and is Head of Brand for family website Day Out With The Kids.