I am so fucking tired.
I am so tired of being tired.
I am so tired of being so tired that I go to bed at 8:30pm, only to lie awake for hours in the middle of the night.
I am so tired of not having time with my spouse to actually enjoy each other or talk about things other than the pandemic.
I am so tired of mitigating risk by the hour.
I am so tired of internally debating whether my kids’ response to something is pandemic-related or not.
I am so tired of selfish people.
I am so tired of dumb people.
I am so tired of lazy people.
I am so tired of being angry.
I am so tired of feeling so much rage toward strangers.
I am so tired of my kids.
I am so tired of my kids not being able to get a vaccine.
I am so tired of talking about new variants.
I am so tired of drinking to quell the pain.
I am so tired of living in Groundhog Day.
I am so tired of saying, “That’s it, I’m done,” only to, of course, not actually be done.
I am so tired of worrying about long Covid and what we don’t know.
I am so tired of working from home and being interrupted by inane questions from my kids.
I am so tired of looking in the mirror and seeing how much this has all aged me.
I am so tired of living day to day.
I am so tired of planning vacations in my head, only to know we won’t be able to safely take them for a while.
I am so tired of witnessing the world burn and knowing my kids’ futures are in jeopardy.
I am so tired of watching this country fold into itself.
I am so tired of worrying these kids will never be able to read or write or do maths at the level they should be able to.
I am so tired of worrying that, years from now, the social and emotional repercussions will affect all these kids in innumerable ways.
I am so tired of having a lack of support – not from my spouse or family, but from society as a whole.
I am so tired of not having a game plan to get out of this... or to have one, only to have so many people ignore it.
I am so fucking tired.