Getting to the 12 week mark during your pregnancy is a huge milestone, this is because you can FINALLY see a scan of your unborn child and it all starts to feel real.
This stage is considered ‘safe’ as the risk of miscarriage drops. Most miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks, known as early pregnancy. After this mark the risk drops to around 5%, according to Tommys.
For most families 12 weeks is the most popular time to go public with the pregnancy news, especially with close family and friends.
But it can be difficult deciding how to announce the news – pregnancy announcements can be triggering for some, you might know people who will struggle with your news.
Perhaps you have a friend who is trying to conceive or going through fertility issues. Someone else’s big moment of joy can be really triggering for others.
Parenting expert and founder of Littlelist, Katie Massie-Taylor, has compiled a list of mistakes to avoid if you want to share your news sensitively.
1. Don’t assume you know who you can tell: It might be worth making a list of people with your partner about who to tell when and how. This will ensure you’re both on the same page and one of you doesn’t let slip to Big Dave at work before you’ve told your family!
2. Don’t assume face-to-face is the best approach: If there’s someone on the list who might struggle with the news, on this rare occasion it might be difficult for them to hear about it in person. Instead, think about sending them a kindly worded text or even email. It gives them the chance to digest the news in their own time and respond when they feel ready.
3. Similarly, slapping a big all-singing all-dancing reveal on social media can feel brutal. Though it’s not realistic to tell everyone you’ve ever met personally, if someone is important to you and especially if the news might be emotional for them, taking a more personalised approach before going big and public is the kindest thing to do.
4. Be careful of the gossip trail: If you’ve told a few people before the 12 week mark, chances are they might have excitedly let your news slip already.
Make sure to tell everyone to keep it to themselves if you want to tell someone sensitively. It’s fine to say “Mum, I know that cousin Jen has been trying for a while so can you please hold off on telling Auntie Pam until I’ve had my scan” without causing offence.
5. Try not to make jokes: What might be funny to you and your partner could feel insensitive to anyone struggling. Jokes about contraception failing and not being ready are probably not the best idea.
At the end of the day this is a special time for you and your family, so don’t overthink or let the negativity in! Announcing to the world can be nerve-wracking — but keeping these mistakes in mind should help you feel more prepared.