It’s your child’s birthday, so what do you get for them? That top-of-the-range toy, dolls’ house or ride-on car that costs a cool couple of hundred pounds?
Perhaps you splash out for a party... which, once you consider the playground politics of having to invite a whole class of 30 kids, plus hiring a hall and an entertainer, then forking out for food, can easily set you back the price of a weekend away. Birthdays can be outlandishly expensive – if you let them.
But here’s a secret: you don’t have to. At the end of the day, all your child really wants is a bit of cake and to run around with their friends getting sweaty and chasing balloons.
The pressure is real, though. And never more so than when you’re standing in the circle of judgement of other parents – as this Mumsnetter found out.
The mother decided to canvass opinions on second-hand birthday gifts for her own child, who turns two next month.
“I’ve seen a play kitchen that would be perfect for her,” she writes. “It’s £30 and retails around £150 brand new. My friends think it’s totally fine to buy secondhand but not for birthdays or Christmas and that I’m tight.”
She admitted that she was the “highest earner” within her friendship group, and could “easily afford” the £150 play kitchen. But, she says: “I don’t see the point when the £30 is just as good and the brand new one will be exactly the same after a week of play!”
She adds: “She’s two so wouldn’t know!”
Reactions to the mum’s ‘confession’ were unequivocally supportive of buying second-hand.
More than 90 people left comments telling her not to think twice about it; that her decision was “environmentally-friendly” and reminding her that if it gets damaged, she “won’t be annoyed as it was a bargain”.
One mum said she’d done exactly the same thing for her child’s birthday. “Definitely buy it,” she said. “I gave my daughter a secondhand (but looked new) Wheelybug for her birthday. It cost £20 rather than £70. I could’ve paid the extra but it seemed a waste. She was delighted!”
Others said she should “save money for when they’re older and want expensive things that can’t be bought secondhand”. Another pointed out: “Your two-year-old won’t know or care. Buying the new one would be a complete waste.”
But one mum admitted she’d did have one worry. “I’m not sure if I’d be brave enough to buy second hand for someone else’s child,” she said.
I’ve written about my feelings on second-hand toys, clothes and gifts here. I vowed at the end of 2018 not to buy my children anything new for a whole year – and, other than new shoes that fit properly, I’ve stuck to it.
Now there’s one thing that puzzles me. I can’t see any reason to stop – because the world, and my children, simply do not need more ‘stuff’. Why can’t we make do with what we already have? We have plenty.
And that includes birthday presents.