Talk show legend Jimmy Kimmel has shared his, er, interesting advice for single men on an episode of Nicole Byer’s podcast Why Won’t You Date Me?.
When asked by the host whether he had any suggestions for people struggling to get into a relationship, the star said: “Really, what kills ya, and I think especially for guys... is masturbating.”
He continued: “If you’ve got a, you know, a not-so-great buffet at your house, you’re not going to go out for meals, and I think that you know, a lot of people get caught up in their world of pornography and they lose the desire to procreate.”
Jimmy added that he’d advised two of his single male friends to stop masturbating for a month, after which point, he said, they found their wives.
HuffPost UK spoke to urologist and sexual health expert Dr Paul Gittens and sexologist and sex therapist Dr Candice Nicole Hargons, (whose book, Good Sex, comes out in February) about the advice.
What’s the verdict?
Dr Gittens told HuffPost UK: “Jimmy is correct in the fact that anything that is overused or overdone can cause side effects.”
But the expert added “he is incorrect to say all men will not have the desire to be with a partner if they masturbate”.
The urologist explained that for most men, masturbation can be a “useful tool” and “extremely healthy” in their relationship or dating life.
Dr Hargons agreed, saying: “Masturbation is a normal, healthy component of many people’s sex lives.”
While some people may feel distress if their porn use and accompanying masturbation frequency or urges get in the way of their ability to do the other things in life that are important to them – like enjoying loved ones, working, or hobbies – “that typically isn’t the case for most men,” added Dr Hargons.
Indeed some studies suggest regular ejaculation can help to keep sperm counts in a healthy range; as Dr Gittens pointed out, it’s a known stress reliever and may even increase, rather than decrease, your focus.
Still, Dr Hargons thinks there’s nothing inherently wrong with abstaining from either sex or masturbation so long as you’re not doing it based on faulty, or unproven, evidence.
“The messages people receive about why they should abstain, and who they will become if they do not, are the misguided aspects of [stopping masturbation],” she said.
“In a recent study my team conducted, we found that boys and men receive mixed messages, both positive and negative, about masturbation.”
Are there advantages to masturbation?
Dr Hargons said some research found that men who masturbate for compensatory reasons, rather than complementary reasons (the way some women use it), may experience lower sexual satisfaction overall.
But in general, both she and Dr Gittens told HuffPost UK that if you like to have a little you time, there are plenty of benefits.
“Masturbation can help [men] learn about their bodies, allow them to have better control of orgasms, help with sleep and there is also literature that suggests it can help with prostate health and prostate cancer,” Dr Gittens shared.
Dr Hargons commented that it can “help you better understand your body and your desires,” even going so far as to say men “stand to lose” the benefits of masturbation if they give it up “without fully understanding why they masturbate in the first place”.
If you do want to try leaving your tissue box panel intact for a while, she suggests considering why you’re doing it.
“It may be helpful to observe the contexts when you masturbate and the reasons – boredom, stress reduction, an urge you can’t seem to fight, to numb out, to feel pleasure, to explore your body,” Dr Hargons concluded
“If you do end up opting to abstain, do so from the perspective that you are inherently worthy – whether you masturbate or not. Don’t attach your value, or anyone else’s, to it.”
If you’re worried you may have an unhealthy relationship with sex or masturbation, consider reaching out to a professional or contacting Sexaholics Anonymous, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, or Relate.