Joe Lycett's Ridiculous Sue Gray Parody 'Report' Is Here To Tide Us Over Until We Get The Real Thing

"Hard to see how the PM can cling on after this," he joked.
Joe Lycett
Joe Lycett
Shirlaine Forrest/Getty/Twitter

With the whole nation waiting with baited breath for Sue Gray’s report into alleged illegal gatherings at Downing Street during the 2020 lockdown, Joe Lycett has something to make us laugh in the interim… he’s written his own version.

Tweeting his parody report on Thursday morning, Joe joked: “Leaked Sue Gray report reveals shocking abuse of the rules. Hard to see how the PM can cling on after this.”

In his seven-point “report”, Joe comments on made-up WhatsApp groups for MPs organising alleged parties named “Definitely A Meeting” and “Down It Street”.

He also jokes about everything from a group rendition of Hear’Say’s Pure & Simple to the gross-out horror film The Human Centipede.

BREAKING: Leaked Sue Gray report reveals shocking abuse of the rules. Hard to see how the PM can cling on after this. pic.twitter.com/l0IQMcio0t

— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) January 27, 2022

This is an actual series of messages I have received from someone who works for a cabinet minister. Source is verified. pic.twitter.com/PVfCCjJMQL

— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) January 27, 2022

Joe’s made-up report ends: “Please forward any queries to my email ItsAllSueGravyBaby@aol.com…”

Joe is also known for tweets poking fun at MPs embroiled in scandals or faux pas in the media.

Earlier this week, culture secretary Nadine Dorries briefly retweeted (and hastily deleted) a post from the comic which read: “Boris Johnson dont rise to it babe, im with nadine we r on ur side no matter what xoxox”

DT Nadine Dorries: RT Joe Lycett: . Boris Johnson dont rise to it babe, im with nadine we r on ur side no matter what xoxox https://t.co/1roxVunKcG

— Tweets MPs Delete (@deletedbyMPs) January 26, 2022

Hahahahahahaha https://t.co/8W8oUSFe4P

— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) January 26, 2022

Sue Gray began her eagerly-awaited report earlier this month, amid claims of illegal lockdown gatherings at Downing Street.

Since then, several more allegations have been reported in the media, including the most recent, involving a group supposedly celebrating Boris Johnson’s birthday at No 10 in June 2020.

More recently, it was confirmed that the Met Police would be launching their own investigation into a “number” of lockdown gatherings that were supposedly held at Downing Street during the first year of the pandemic.

Metropolitan police commissioner Cressida Dick said that while the police did not “normally” investigate retrospective breaches of the rules, the force had decided that some events in No.10 met the criteria for an after-the-event probe.

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