Julianne Moore knows the many phases of raising kids from infancy to adulthood.
The “Still Alice” star has a grown son, Caleb, and daughter, Liv, with her husband, Bart Freundlich. She’s also the author of a series of children’s books about a little girl named Freckleface Strawberry. Since becoming a mother in 1997, Moore has shared her thoughts on passing down important values, balancing family and work, dealing with teens and more.
In honor of her birthday, we’ve rounded up 17 quotes about motherhood from Moore.
On Her Hope As A Mother
“The thing about being a mother is that your responsibility and your love for your children is so enormous that it kind of overcomes everything. I knew that my job as a mother was to make sure that my children were happy and educated and safe and to give them every kind of possibility in his life. That’s the way every mother feels. I hope I’m a good mother. I think we all hope we’re good mothers. I think my children are happy and seem to be doing well. I feel fortunate in the way that my life is structured, that I’m kind of allowed to explore lots of emotional avenues in my work. I think that’s left me in a place where I have a lot of balance in my life, where I can kind of be together in different places and fall apart in others. I’m lucky.”
On Family Dynamics
“Every family is different. In my family there was one parent you asked for money and the other for permission to do things. You could never get both out of one parent. My father gave me money (‘Here’s $50, but you can’t leave the house’) and my mother let me out (‘You can go out, but I’m not going to give you any money’) and that was just how it was. I see that with my children too ― my husband and I flip-flop in different roles.”
On Values She Teaches Her Children
“The kids go to a Quaker school. Their father and I believe a lot in community, social responsibility, making sure you give to people less fortunate than you. The children, I think, see fame as separate from me. I always say, ‘I’m not on the cover because I’m famous. It’s because it’s my job, I’m in a movie.’ I stress work and accomplishment and not celebrity.”
On Screen Time
“Sometimes we’ll say, ‘You can have 20 minutes to text your friends,’ or whatever it is. But even with television, we’ll be like, ‘one show.’ I think you just have to monitor all of that stuff. And also it depends on your child. I see some kids who can be fine watching a movie and then doing something else; I see other kids falling apart ― having it kind of mess with them.”
On Balancing Family And Work
“I want to be with my husband and kids as much as I can. Some celebrities take their children everywhere with them ― despite having to pull them away from school and friends. Because of my own childhood experiences, I try to work in New York or during the summer when my family can come with me. The days of doing a film where I need to be away for months during the school year are over.”
On Having Her Daughter Voice Her Book Character
“On the first app, I said, apropos of nothing, ‘Hey, do you want to be the voice of Freckleface Strawberry?’ She was like, ‘Yeah!’ And then I thought, ‘Oh, God, this could be weird.’ I thought, ‘Maybe she won’t like it or maybe it’ll be difficult for her,’ and she was amazing. It was fun for us to do together and something that she can feel genuinely proud of. I’m like, ‘This is really work, Liv.’ And she goes, ‘If this is work, I would do work like this all day!’”
On Her Kids’ Personalities
“She’s just her own person. What’s amazing is how quickly that happens. My mother said, about me and my sister and brother, ‘You are who you are. You aren’t any different from the day you were born.’ I remembered that distinctly when my kids were born, because they came with very specific temperaments.”
On Maintaining Romance
“Bart and I try to spend time alone, but it is hard because the kids go: ‘Why are you going out, you went out last night?’ But we endeavor to make time for each other, take trips together. I wouldn’t call it a struggle. I wouldn’t say that it was easy. I think it’s what anybody I know who has a family and a career deals with. It’s a challenging balance. I feel fortunate that I’ve had both: and I work really hard to maintain both of them.”
On Her Kids’ Interest In Her Job
“I think most of us have a very strong interest in our parents being our parents. If my kids had an interest in my job, I would be worried.”
On Teaching Acceptance
“I think what everybody always says about raising children is you have to teach by example. They have to see what’s going on in the world. You have to work really hard to give a child a prejudice. Children are naturally born without one. So, if the reality of gay families is kind of out there, if they see families living this way, then it’s completely natural and normal for them. For Freckleface Strawberry, that’s a different issue. ... Kids get to be about 7 years old and suddenly, they’re like, ‘Hey, I’m taller than this kid,’ ‘My teeth are kind of big’ or ‘I don’t like my ears’ or this or that or the other thing, and it just breaks your heart. Because you’re like, ‘No, oh my gosh, you’re perfect, how could you not think that?’... I didn’t grow up and lose my red hair and my freckles. I grew up and still don’t love my freckles, but can’t do a whole lot about it. And I have other things to worry about and other things that are more important, like my family and my work and my friends. The things like, ‘My ears stick out’ ends up being like, ‘Well, whatever.’”
On Sending Her Kids To College
“When they go off to college, it’s going to be a very big deal for me. I know all these teenagers ― my friends’ kids ― and I am always saying: ‘Let me give you a piece of advice. Make sure you can drive home or take the train home because if you have to fly, it’s too far!’ I know what I’m talking about. When my family was living in Germany and I went back to the United States, I couldn’t come home at the weekend.”
On The Job Of A Parent
“Parenting is about the time you put in and the investment you make in ushering this little child and turning it into an adult. Whether you are a woman or a man, that is what your job is.”
On Parenting Pride
“The thing I am proudest of is my family in my life. Our kids are healthy and happy and they’re really nice kids. They do well in school. They have a lot of friends, they have a lot of interests.”
On Getting Married For Her Kids
“The only reason I got married in 2003 was for my children. I had a therapist who said marriage is really a container for a family and that made sense to me. Bart and I have been together for years.”
On Parenting Teens
“I have to figure out a way to convince my kids to go to Marfa, maybe after Christmas. It’s hard, as you know, to get teenagers to do anything with you. ... My husband surprised me on Mother’s Day. He bought us all passes to the Whitney, and my kids had to come. And then we all went to brunch. It was fantastic!”
On Impressing Her Kids With Her ‘Hunger Games’ Role
“Yes, I did. I really, really did because they don’t care about any of the movies I’m in. [Those] movies aren’t for children, so they haven’t seen any of them. They don’t care. But this is a big deal. They both love the books, and they both love Jennifer Lawrence, so yeah, I definitely got huge points for that.”
On The Challenge Of Parenting
“I think anyone will tell you that the thing that’s hardest and most rewarding for any of us is family life. My relationship with my husband and my relationship with my children is the thing that takes primary focus in my life and is the most involving and rewarding.”
