The biggest event in the British LGBTQ calendar is upon us, as this weekend will see hundreds of thousands descend on Brighton for the city’s annual Pride event.
Widely regarded as one of the biggest and best queer celebrations in the country, this year bosses faced the unenviable task of trying to top the 2018 event, which saw Britney actual Spears headline.
However, they have pulled out all the stops to secure one of the biggest gay icons ever – Ms Kylie Minogue.
La Minogue takes to the stage in Preston Park on Saturday night in what promises to be a pure pop extravaganza – and if you’re anything like us, there’s some serious stages of emotion we’ll all go through in the lead up to and during the event...
1. You’ve spent the last seven days trying to carve some abs so you can take your top off
2. But having failed to, you’re left with a real dilemma of what to wear
3. You decide to go as your favourite Kylie, but with so many eras to choose from, you don’t know where to begin
4. You don’t have the time or indeed budget for something from the Showgirl era
5. And knowing every basic Kylie fan will come as Can’t-Get-You-Out-Of-My-Head Kylie, that option is out the window too
6. After deciding on the perfect outfit, you are officially excited
7. And you think about how seeing Kylie at a Pride event will be a poignant moment for the entire LGBTQ community
8. Hence you have no time for that one killjoy friend who proclaims they’re “not that much of a Kylie fan”
9. As the day rolls round, you’re looking hot and feeling fierce and you strut into Preston Park like...
10. You immediately spy at least 20 people in your vicinity who you fancy and feel like a kid in a sweet shop
11. Did someone say shots?
12. You get right into the Abba tribute act who are one of Kylie’s warm up acts also on the bill
13. But when someone suggests going to see what’s on at the dance tent when you’ve spent the last two hours reserving a prime spot for Kylie, you’re like
14. After you’ve tolerated Clean Bandit’s set, it’s now time for MS KYLIE MINOGUE herself. As she takes to the stage, you’re like...
15. When Locomotion kicks in, you find yourself doing a big gay conga
16. By the time Spinning Around comes on, you don’t think you could possibly having a better time
17. But then she plays Your Disco Needs You
18. After a glittering triumph of a set, Kylie leaves the stage...
19. For you though, the night is still young and the decision is made to head out into town
20. It proves fruitful when you arrive at the club and spot that proper hottie who you’ve not been able to get out of your head all day
21. You already see yourself as the gay Kylie and Jason
22. Come 3am, you are ready to go home and lie down
23. But then you remember you have a mammoth journey home and need some words of hope and optimism as you head to the train station
24. And while no-one will probably top Kylie, you can’t wait to do it all again next year
