Kait – known as @kaitgrange on TikTok – lost her mum in very tragic circumstances three years ago.
Going into her fourth year of grief, she’s chosen to honour her mum’s memory by trying to make the most of the life she’s been given – despite her overwhelming sadness.
Since the beginning of March, Kait has been chronicling her grief and self-care journey with the hashtag #LetsNotRot.
She says it’s all about “making small choices each day to not rot away life”.
In the first video of the series, she discusses how numb she felt during the second year of grief, as well as losing her sense of self and purpose in the wake of her mother’s death.
According to news reports from 2019, her mum was shot dead by her estranged husband.
“For the last three years I’ve been thoroughly rotting,” Kait said in one of her videos. “But I refuse to rot away the next three.”
To date she’s shared 45 videos about the small, conscious decisions she makes on a day-to-day basis that help her move forward and lead her to “a more purposeful life”.
These decisions might be something as simple as applying moisturiser or making nice coffees, or taking bigger steps like going to the gym or spending a few hours writing at a coffee shop, because – as Kait says in each video – “small things lead to bigger things”.
To a lot of people, these may seem like inconsequential, everyday things but when you’re grieving, it doesn’t always feel possible to continue as normal and look after yourself in such seemingly small ways.
The creator also shares profound thoughts on grieving and snippets of memories with her mum such as her coffee orders, her job, as well as anecdotes about her bravery and kindness.
More creators are sharing their grief journeys
Loneliness is reported to be one of the most intense and distressing grief symptoms – and creators are combatting that by joining in with the #LetsNotRot trend.
It’s a low pressure trend, with users focusing on getting through their grief and accepting that it’s not linear and one day can be better or worse than the last.
TikTok creator Kelsey Venkov, who lost her dad last year, says she’s aiming for “contentment over perfection”.
The comments on these posts are filled with users thanking creators for sharing their journeys, while also discussing their own losses, and offering supportive words to those who are also grieving.
One commenter said: “Your words are so inspiring, and it’s helped me in ways I could never word as beautifully as you do.”
“I look forward to these,” another added. “My mom was taken from me by brain cancer. Your words speak to me so much. Big hugs.”
These small pockets of community are opening up conversations around death – something that a third of people in the UK struggle to discuss.
With the hashtag already gaining 12.6 million views on TikTok, it’s clear it resonates with many people navigating loss.
If you’re struggling yourself, Cruse, the UK’s leading bereavement charity, are keen to emphasise that there is no normal way to grieve – and it affects us in so many different ways.
Just know that you’re not alone.