As a self-confessed glam-ma (aka relatively young and glamorous grandma), I pride myself on the title. As much as I’d like to think I am the only one around, I’m under no illusion this is the case. There are plenty coming for my crown.
Millennial Glam-ma is here to stay. She is young, looks fabulous, and to quote my favourite Jill Scott song, she is living her life like it’s golden, with not an elasticated waist or slip-on shoe in sight.
In fact, she’s more likely to be in skinny jeans, drinking Prosecco, and if she’s single, dating – all the while providing essential support and love as matriarch to her family. Millennial Glam-ma doesn’t know what an apron or tabard is.
[Read More: I Became A Glam-Ma At 43, Just Don’t Call Me Grandma]
I caught up with three women who’ve recently acquired the title to find out a bit more from them what life is like as a “thoroughly modern glam-ma”.
‘I’m fitter now than I was 20 years ago’
Paula Ede 45, Harlow, Essex, glam-ma to Frankie, two, Poppy, 10 months and Amelia, nine months:
I’m a married mother of three boys and glam-ma to three under three, and I love my chaotic life. When my son Callum first told us we were going to be grandparents we were over the moon. Dan and I started our family when we were quite young and it’s been great to have been around to really appreciate the grandkids.
My dad, who I lost to cancer, only got to be a granddad for a few months before he passed, so for me having grandchildren is nothing but a blessing.
I work in a hospital so when my first grandchild Frankie came along I was lucky enough to go into the labour suite, I kept a bit of a distance because Callum’s partner’s mum was already helping. I’m grandma on the paternal side and with boys there is a lot less input than when it’s a daughter about to give birth.
But when Chanel became pregnant again with Poppy she made a point of asking me if I wanted to be at the birth as she wanted me to be included. And it’s been like that pretty much ever since.
All of of my grandchildren and their parents live with their grandparents: Callum, Chanel, Frankie and Poppy with us, and Amelia with her dad (my son Connor) and his partner Ellie at her parents’ house. This is because it’s so expensive for first-time buyers and they’re saving to buy their own place. It’s a sign of the times – without help it will be virtually impossible to get on the housing ladder
Being a glam-ma has made me grateful for the life I have. Some people don’t get the chance to be parents, let alone grandparents, and I can definitely say it’s a different kind of love. You spoil them, but at some point you still have to say no. I’m just that little bit more relaxed with them than when I had my boys. The nurturing side of parenting is magnified by 10 when it’s your grandchildren.
Monday nights are family night and that is when all the family come together. Connor, Ellie and Amelia come over and for most of the evening it’s chaotic, full of laughs, with me and Dan giving the babies loads of cuddles. I absolutely love them like crazy and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As much as our lives have become busier, I’m the same fun-loving woman I used to be before the grandkids came alone. I still meet up with my friends for drinks at the weekend and me and Dan still make time for each other. We both love the gym and go at least five times a week, because we want to have the energy to run after the grandkids. I’m actually fitter now than I was 20 years ago.
I’ve got a bit of a tattoo addiction as well, with more ink than I can count. In fact, when it comes to birthdays and Christmas I tell the family: don’t get me any presents – just buy me tattoo vouchers. I’ve not yet got to the point where I think I shouldn’t wear certain clothes. My view is: if it looks good and feels comfortable why shouldn’t you wear it. People stress too much about age – 45 now is different to what 45 was when we were growing up.
Keep your mind active and the rest will follow. And being fit does have its advantages – when I’m out with any of my grandkids I’m often mistaken for their mum. I think: “Ooh I’ve still got it”. It feels nice to know people think you look good and are younger than you are. I see it as a compliment.
‘I had the old-fashioned view grandmas were elderly’
Joanne Gooding Lewis, 42 east London, Glam-ma to Ashton, seven, and Liana, three:
When I found out I was going to be a glam-ma, I was devastated. It was all about me – I was only 34 and looking back now I realise I was being selfish. I was upset, thinking: what if I want to be a mum again? It would mess up the order of things. I had the old fashioned view that grandmas were elderly.
I started to come around after the first month when I realised how much my daughter was going to need me. I thought: the main thing is I need to support her. It taught me you’ve got to love and be there for your kids no matter what they go through.
When my grandson Ashton came along I fell in love with him straight away. The say a grandparent’s love is a different kind of love and it is so true. It changed my life in so many ways. I’ve gone from being a mum of four to being a mum of six since my daughter had her daughter Liana.
They all still live at home with me and I help my daughter out by sharing some of the responsibility of looking after her two children. Sometimes it feels like they are mine; that’s until one of them does something wrong or if they need their nappy changed. Then I quickly pass them over and call for their mother! But the reality is I love them being here and living in a house with three generations.
Even though my kids are grown, with grandkids around you get fresh insight on raising children. You’ve got the old school way in which I was raised and then the modern way my daughter is raising her children. Because the age gap between her and her kids is small – she was 16 when she had Ashton – you get the millennial take on child-rearing. There is lot of fun, noise and laughter in this house and we are all close. Sometimes when she is in mum mode it reminds me of myself and how I used to parent her and her siblings.
I am proud to say that I am a thoroughly modern glam-ma – the idea of wearing cardigans or flat shoes horrifies me. I still do the same things I was doing before they were born, which includes singing, attending church, dating and meeting new people. I love the fact that being a young glam-ma means I come and go as I please and choose if I want to take them with me. I’m young enough to do loads of things with them without feeling like just a babysitter.
When we go out people just assume I am their mum and to be honest I find that a bit awkward. When I explain the family set up, I get hit with a barrage of questions about both myself and my daughter that can get quite personal and borderline rude. Sometimes it feels like an interrogation.
I’ve also received a lot of negative backlash from people about me being a glam-ma so young, with one ‘friend’ even commenting that I need to be more mature because I’m a grandma now. All I was doing was taking a selfie!
People sometimes brand me with the grandma title as if it’s a bad thing, almost like a put down. It happened once when I was talking to a potential suitor – once they find out I’m a grandma it kind of puts you in a box and that’s why I’ve struggled with the title. Not the role, just the title.
My grandchildren truly are a blessing and I love them unconditionally but I don’t want to lose my identity and just be known as Ashton and Liana’s grandma. That’s why I continue to live my best life the way I always have.
‘We are a new type of grandparent, being ourselves’
Jennifer Simpson, 43, east London, is glam-ma to Morgan-Kai, four:
When I first found out I was going to be a grandma, I was disappointed because I work in childcare and teach students and about life and relationships. My son Sacha and I are very close and to find out he was going to be a father at the age of 16 I felt that I had let him down.
But once we sat down and discussed it, I decided I was going to help him in any way I could and from then on, I totally embraced the situation. I didn’t want him thinking that having a baby would ruin his start in life so I encouraged both him and his girlfriend to stay on at college as they’d got really good GCSE grades.
Once Morgan-Kai came along I supported them by taking time off work to look after him while they continued with their education. I took three years out and it paid off – Sacha finished his studies and at 21 he is now a qualified teaching assistant. To say I’m a proud mum is an understatement.
When I’m out with my grandson it always brings a smile to my face when people assume he is my son and when I correct them, you can see the confusion. I love to see the surprise on their faces as they try and work out the family dynamics. I also have a 12-year-old daughter and people would always ask me if I wanted any more but this filled that gap and Morgan-Kai makes a lovely addition.
If I compare my relationship with my grandson with how I was with my grandma, it was good but nowhere near as hands on as I am with him. I used to see her mostly at weekends whereas I have an almost daily interaction with Morgan-Kai.
There are now four generations in our family. We are so close-knit and my mum has a wonderful relationship as a great-grandma. As children get older, it’s nice for them to see who their family are and where they come from. I love the guidance we can give our children and grandchildren and also having the time and the energy to do loads of things with them.
I train three times a week at an outdoors boot-camp session and have tattoos and piercings in places I cannot disclose. I wear heels daily and skinny jeans are a staple in my wardrobe. When I was looking after Morgan-Kai, I still socialised with friends – he simply became part of my “normal” and I would took him along to my lunch date with friends.
The one thing I made sure was that I always had that little bit of me time. On the weekends me and the girls who are also mums would get together and go out for drinks and have Prosecco afternoons – and that hasn’t changed.
Morgan-Kai is at nursery now and everything on a personal level is returning to normal. I’m back to working part-time. I put my life on hold when he was a baby but I don’t regret it at all – we bonded and our relationship is amazing.
So yes, I love being a glam-ma. I love the fact we are still young and make up our own rules. We are a new type of grandparent who are enjoying our lives and being ourselves, while taking on the role responsibly.