Melanie Lynskey still remembers how painful it was to lose Kate Winslet as a friend.
The two stars formed a “very intense” bond as teenage co-stars on the set of Heavenly Creatures and would “write each other” and “talked on the phone all the time,” as Lynskey previously told TIME, but that relationship ended shortly after production — and Melanie found she “couldn’t let it go”.
“When I lost touch with Kate, it was more heartbreaking than some breakups that I’ve had,” she said on Thursday’s Happy Sad Confused podcast. “It was so painful, and it wasn’t like anything happened, it’s just she became a gigantic, international movie star.”
Kate certainly did that when James Cameron’s Titanic hit cinemas in 1997. Melanie, who went on to star in other films like Ever After and Detroit Rock City, said their divergence “gradually happened” — and that Kate suddenly “didn’t have a lot of time”.
“It happens in relationships,” added Melanie. “People kind of drift apart, but that was so painful for me.”
The Yellowjackets star was admittedly “sensitive” about such bonds coming to an end but said “it got easier” to accept as she got older.
However, Melanie still considers Kate “a huge inspiration”, particularly for how she navigated the body-shaming she experienced after Titanic.
“It infuriated me so much, and I just was always amazed by how gracefully she handled all of that,” Melanie told the podcast.
She added that she was “so furious” about how Kate was being “dissected and talked about” at the time, as the British star “is an actor who comes along once in a generation”. Melanie ultimately went on to form other close friendships at work.
“I did this movie with this actor, and when we were finished I said, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m just so happy that I met you and we have this friendship,’” she said Thursday, “And she said, ‘Yeah, I’m not friends with actors. I don’t stay friends with actors.’ And I was just like, ‘What?’”
Melanie continued, “I was so shocked by it.”
She certainly managed to forge ahead, however, and has had a remarkable year with roles in Yellowjackets and HBO’s The Last Of Us — which her husband Jason Ritter, with whom she shares a child — has no qualms about publicly celebrating.
As for her childhood friend, Melanie and Kate eventually reunited at the 2009 premiere of Away We Go. While they may not talk on the phone “all the time” anymore, Melanie took a page out of Kate’s book and faced a recent body-shaming experience gracefully.