David Beckham Branded A 'Pagan God' Because Of His Tattoos In Times Column Labelled 'Bonkers' And '5,000 Years' Out Of Date

'No longer the preserve of sailors, navvies and criminals.'

Melanie Phillips has been labelled "bonkers" and "5,000 years" out of touch over a column she wrote for The Times calling David Beckham 'a pagan god' because of his extensive tattoo collection.

Phillips, in a piece headlined 'These awful tattoos show we're turning Pagan', said Beckham's inked arms look more like "artefacts" than human limbs, and pondered why such a gifted athlete "should want to mutilate himself in this way".

David Beckham has been called a 'pagan god' because of his extensive tattoos
David Beckham has been called a 'pagan god' because of his extensive tattoos
H&M

The 40-year-old has two full sleeves of tattoos, as well as inkings on his hands, chest, torso, back, neck, and most recently, his ankle. Most are in homage to members of his family and feature religious imagery.

Phillips, who on Twitter has been accused of having a world view not far removed from that described in "Enid Blyton books", conceded in her column that tattoos had been "fashionable for years" and were no longer the "preserve of sailors, navvies and criminals".

Phillips noted that tattoos were no longer the 'preserve of sailors, navvies and criminals'
Phillips noted that tattoos were no longer the 'preserve of sailors, navvies and criminals'
MPI via Getty Images

Even David Cameron's wife had a tattoo of a dolphin on her ankle, she added.

Alex von Tunzelmann, who said she actually has a tattoo of a pagan, wrote on Twitter that she "loves her tattoos even more now I know they might irritate Melaine Phillips".

Phillips hypothesised various reasons why people get tattoos, such as rebellion and narcissism. For those with poor language skills, it was a way to express themselves, she said.

The columnist then dug a little "deeper", noting tattooing had been around since the earliest societies and was "heavily associated" with pagan cultures.

Beckham's tattoos, she wrote, while revealing his "love for his family" also show the former footballer can "manufacture a desired reality, to keep his family always with him and even to become literally part of him".

Melanie Phillips on spectacularly bonkers form today - David Beckham is a "pagan God for our desacralised age" pic.twitter.com/TviQQdM7sK

— Jess Brammar (@jessbrammar) April 5, 2016

@alexvtunzelmann @mattlodder Only in Enid Blyton books, a worldview which perhaps still holds sway over some sections of the population.

— Stuart Campbell (@whollybrogued) April 5, 2016

Note also the resurgence of the hoary old tattoo fallacy "Once the preserve of sailors, navvies and criminals..." cc @mattlodder

— Alex von Tunzelmann (@alexvtunzelmann) April 5, 2016

@alexvtunzelmann @mattlodder the "craze" for tattoos? does she mean the same one that has been going on for 5,000 f*cking years?

— Chris Sm. (@poorstruggler) April 5, 2016

Phillips: "Regardless of the Christian themes pictured on his skin, is pagan."

Continuing on the pagan theme, Phillips said it was "no coincidence" that the surge in interest in tattoos and piercings had taken place at the same time as an increase in popularity of paganism.

“When it comes to the image of himself he chooses to project, he would appear to have become a pagan god for our desacralised age"”

The numbers of people identifying as pagan jumped from 42,000 in the 2001 census to 56,000 in 2011, Phillips noted. She then continued to flag other examples of paganism becoming more mainstream - like Cornwall deciding to teach witchcraft and druidry in school religious studies.

Tattooing, Philips noted, is prohibited in the Bible, as it seen as a pagan practice.

She said tattoos "denigrate humanity" and embody the "repudiation" of moral codes.

Love my tattoos even more now I know they might irritate Melanie Phillips. https://t.co/AkMWUQqbrx

— Alex von Tunzelmann (@alexvtunzelmann) April 5, 2016

@alexvtunzelmann Wonder what she'd make of my Melanie Phillips tattoo

— Jonathan Dean (@JonathanDean_) April 5, 2016

@JonathanDean_ I actually have a tattoo of a genu-wine pagan - the Greek historian Herodotus. By all means sacrifice a goat to me.

— Alex von Tunzelmann (@alexvtunzelmann) April 5, 2016

@alexvtunzelmann to me this is odd because culturally in North Africa, tattoos are the preserve of little old ladies from a bygone era.

— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) April 5, 2016

@alexvtunzelmann I say, embrace your pagan rebirth!

— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) April 5, 2016

Shorter Melanie Phillips: tattoos are turning young people into devil worshippers. https://t.co/CEKhnoDYXG

— Jeff Sparrow (@Jeff_Sparrow) April 5, 2016

"If bodies can be instrumentalised, mutilated and turned into objects, so too can people."

Phillips said she was sure Beckham was a "splendid fellow", and she doubted he was a pagan, however, "when it comes to the image of himself he chooses to project, he would appear to have become a pagan god for our desacralised age"

David Beckham/Instagram
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