There is a common misconception that being single in your 40’s is an imposed position, bound by an inability to find a lasting soulmate during your decades of existence. But alas, being single is by no means a weakness. It is by no means an indication that you are not good enough for those on the search. Speaking from experience, it is in most cases a choice taken by successful, strong minded, independent women.
I’m a 42 year old award winning entrepreneur, bestselling author, mother to two beautiful children and owner of two impressive homes in two impressive cities (London & Rome). But with all the glitz and glamour attributed to the above, you could say that there is a gaping hole in my life in the lonesome shape of a man to lean on.
You could say that. But you would be wrong beyond belief.
As a divorced single mother of two, it is my prerogative to live life as an independent women pursuing a career and supporting a household single handedly. Are men intimidated by this? Maybe so. There is a gross generalisation in society which sees the nuclear family painted with the same brush - a dominant male performing the role of breadwinner whilst the mother stays at home preparing dinner for his return. This is simply not a true reflection of the 21st century modus of operandi any more, and the sooner people can accept that women are just as entitled to pursue a meaningful career of high importance, the better. Any man who feels emasculated by the potential of his female partner earning more money than him, or maintaining a more prominent position within a company is quite simply not worth the trouble. This brings me back to my point of successful women being single by choice as appose to chance. Maybe we are just sick of dealing with the egotistical bigots who cannot celebrate and support our journey like real men.
There is also the hurdle of successful women having high standards. I am by no means willing to find a partner purely to adhere to the social rhetoric of relationships. As a strong-minded independent woman, I don’t yearn for a male presence in my life to prop me up in any way - other than sentimentally and emotionally. For this reason, I only seek what is best for me. Once males reach their forties, especially in major cities around the world, they can become increasingly unhealthy. Personally, I live a very healthy lifestyle, so I expect nothing less from a partner. I guess you could say that this makes me ‘picky’!
There comes a crossroads in every woman’s life where we have to stop and evaluate our paths - with careers, children and relationships all falling into that same pool of contemplation. It is entirely at the discretion of the female to decide if they wish to enjoy a healthy mix of all three. Age is but a number, and love is boundless. There is nothing to stop people finding their partners later down the line, and being single in my forties is a minor detail of an otherwise intricate story.
Middle aged singlehood is commonly misinterpreted for failure. I have met an abundance of women who view being single in their forties and fifties as some kind of non-fulfilment - and I believe this is a product of a socially constructed mind-set. It’s high time we changed this. I for one am proud of my story, and urge all women to embrace their peregrinations and independence. I don’t mean to sound anti-romance, because love is a truly beautiful thing – but it cannot be rushed. I am a firm believer in destiny.