Over the past month or so I have noticed a trend emerging. More and more of us are feeling down about our parenting skills- more specifically us mothers are feeling like we are failing our children. I think it is something built in to a woman's brain- a little switch that flips every now and then to make us feel totally inadequate as girlfriends/ wives and mothers- generally just down in the dumps!
But why is it? Why do we do this to ourselves? We are totally amazing and it is time we start believing it!! So, with that in mind I have written this to let you know you aren't alone and hopefully give you a little boost during this gloomy season.
"I cannot keep on top of things!"
You do not have to do it all in one go!! The world will not end if the dishes do not get done and your children do not care if their clothes are ironed. What really matters is that you love them, that you spend time with them building memories- everything else can wait.
"I want some 'me' time- am I selfish?"
Everyone needs time to themselves! It is ok to breathe a sigh of relief when they finally go to sleep- you need time to recuperate ready for the next day! And you know what else? It is ok to want to go out with your friends - the kids will be ok without you. Have some well deserved time off!
"I feel guilty leaving them while I work."
In an ideal world you would be able to stay at home and be with them all the time (obviously this isn't for everyone). However, needs must and we all need money to live. I know your heart breaks every time you have to leave them but doesn't their face just light up when they see you again? You are doing your best and they love you more than anything.
"I shout sometimes, I never wanted to be that mother."
We all lose our temper, I know I have. Sometimes when there seems like the housework will never be finished and there are toys everywhere my fuse is shorter than normal. We all have bad days, you are not alone. But do you know what? They will forgive you, you are their world and once you have counted to 10 it will all be ok again.
"I wish I could provide more for them."
I sometimes have days when I wish we lived in a bigger house or I could give them nicer things. Then I remember how lucky I am to have what we have- a roof over our heads and each other. That is enough. Try and focus on the haves rather than the have-nots, you will be happier for it.
Is it just me? Next time you are feeling like you cannot cope, just remember we all have those days. Those that don't say it are just hiding the truth. A while back I wrote about 'Keeping up with the Joneses' - about how social media skews our view on real life. Nobody has a perfect life and nobody is perfect!
Being a mum is tough! Nobody tells you the reality as they are too busy trying to cope themselves. It is harder than any job in the world and nobody gives you any thanks. There are days when you want to scream and days when you feel like you could do more, but just remember this- when your children go to bed at night they go to bed with the knowledge that they are loved. You did that and that is all that is truly needed.
You are good enough.
Katy writes over at What Katy Said, her online journal of British family life.