It takes me a while to fall awake. Somewhere in the distance Beyonce's "7/11" is playing and I realise that I left my headphones plugged in. Then it hits me; today is my first day as a writer.
It's never good to start with a cliché but I've always known I wanted to be a writer. It's not the kind of job that would be a good backdrop to a coming of age story though. There'll be no film with a musical montage set to someone writing frantically. It's a quieter journey but you can dance if you want to. Maybe that's where Beyonce comes in.
Yesterday I took a break from my day job to pursue writing. Granted it was creative job. I am a script editor on a national soap but there was a stability there and I'm not only talking about a regular wage. There were deadlines, structure and most importantly people. Speaking to your Gran and imploring her to watch "Catastrophe" is not quite the same as talking to your colleagues. Especially as my Gran is 97 and can't speak English.
However without all these things I now have the freedom to write. I have to look at it that way. I'd chosen the first day of my sabbatical as the day my first piece of writing aired; a radio play for BBC Radio 4. I know so technically it isn't my first day as a writer but it is my first day solely concentrating on writing. So let me have it okay?
Nerves are reaching a crescendo as I hear it back. Knowing that all my friends and family are listening too. I had after all clogged their social networks with it.
There was a touching response from so many people. Krispy Kremes all round. It was now 3pm and I still hadn't written a single word. Today is my first day as a writer.
So I take my self to a room. It's me and my laptop. Turn off the wifi to stop the allure of the Sidebar Of Shame and I stare at the blinking cursor.
Nothing yet.
I start to think about the writer I want to be. Maybe I'll get really good at Twitter. I could become one of those writers who has their finger on the pulse and can talk about Newsnight and the latest series of Ex on the Beach, Yeah, maybs. I turn the wifi back on.
I could start going to the gym. A gym email comes through reminding me that since joining earlier this month I am yet to attend. Never mind it's free for February.
Then I get an email about the radio play from an old colleague. His name is Peter Whalley and I've spoken about his invaluable advice before. He talks about my "voice" as a writer and then I realise that's the writer I want to be. A writer who has something important to say. I don't just mean a gym honed writer, or a writer who is a Beyonce fan or even a BAME writer. Just a writer with something important to say and no I have the opportunity to do just that.
Today is my first day as a writer.