Nadine Dorries Just Shared A New Rap On TikTok Which Even Satirists Refuse To Touch

Literal mic drop.

Nadine Dorries has once again tried to impress social media, this time by making going one step further and making an unusual rap about her Online Safety Bill.

The culture secretary and loyal ally to Boris Johnson has regularly caused a stir ever since she was appointed to cabinet in September.

Aside from accidentally saying you can “downstream” movies, forgetting how Channel 4 is actually funded and getting confused about Microsoft’s algorithms, Dorries has made a name for herself for controversially trying to reconstruct the digital landscape. This includes calling for the BBC to be more neutral and privatising Channel 4.

Now she is championing the Online Safety Bill to protect users – and is trying to make it appeal to younger audiences through her new TikTok rap.

The lyrics – cut through with interesting angles of the culture secretary herself and some famous memes – read as follows:

“The UK is passing some new legislation/

“To make the internet safer for the younger generation.

“It’s effectively a framework to protect internet users/

“From scams, illegal content and anonymous abusers.

“It will force big tech to stop their terms being breaches/

“And puts in measures to defend free speech.

″But is it true it will impact freedom of expression?

“No, we put in legal protections in the 19th section.

“Another thing we’re doing through the laws we’re passing/

“Is tackling online crime and cyberflashing.

“If companies fail to comply with the law/

“and fail to protect the users that they’re responsible for,

″The regulator Ofcom will have the power to fine/

“So platforms must keep people safe online.”

At the end, she literally drops the mic.

The rap was so surprising that even Sooz Kempner, who regularly mocks Dorries on her social media accounts through impersonations, refused to share her own interpretation of the culture secretary.

In response to the video, she tweeted: “I ain’t touching this. No way.”

She later added: “I’m not gonna do it. It’s just a shit TikTok that nobody needs a shit parody of. She’s bound to say or do something that harms the industry I work in that she’s in charge of soon and then I’ll sadly run a brush through the wig.”

I ain't touching this. No way. https://t.co/uXlM29O6zw

— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) May 26, 2022

And here’s what everyone else has been saying about the TikTok...

Suella Braverman: I'm going to embarrass myself the most today.

Nadine Dorries: Hold my mic. #rap #street #dopeskillz #cringefest https://t.co/HtwaoqZg6I

— Steve Sweet (@monsieurbonbon_) May 26, 2022

Sure the Nadine Dorries rap video is awful, but if it opens the path to a Michael Gove beatboxing video, it’ll all be worth it.

— Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) May 27, 2022

No, I will not be sharing the Nadine Dorries "Rap" video.

Yes, it is cling-onto-the-waistband-of-your-underpants cringey horseshit.

— Paul (@Aw_what) May 27, 2022

Very brave of Nadine Dorries to ruin rap music, poetry and TikTok, as well as me having eyes and ears all in one go.

— Buckers (@deathofbuckley) May 27, 2022

The Nadine Dorries ‘rap’ uses some stale memes and internet tropes from about seven years ago, so should do well on Twitter at least pic.twitter.com/oeu9y4o15X

— Graeme Demianyk (@GraemeDemianyk) May 26, 2022

Nadine Dorries "rap" https://t.co/Qmy9SAC3hb pic.twitter.com/Off0ZJ6XOh

— Darren Maughan (@DarrenJM73) May 27, 2022

Can someone rewrite the Meatloaf song and make it - ‘I will do anything to distract from Sue Gray, including rap?’. https://t.co/m67jybaqJR

— Natasha Devon 🌈💙 (@_NatashaDevon) May 26, 2022

#AccidentalPartridge pic.twitter.com/AnzU5L8yNb

— Accidental Partridge (@AccidentalP) May 27, 2022

This “rap” from Nadine Dorries is seriously emotionally distressing and lacks a reasonable excuse.

Thankfully that will soon be illegal under the new harms based communications offence in the Online Safety Bill. pic.twitter.com/CbihCSeZZc

— Matthew Lesh (@matthewlesh) May 27, 2022

🚨 very important news 🚨 @NadineDorries just dropped her first rap single on TikTok, nope not kidding https://t.co/En9kD13TJw

— Zoë Crowther (@zoenora6) May 26, 2022

INTERNET SAFETY WARNING: there’s a link going around which claims to take you to a TikTok of Nadine Dorries rapping. Don’t click on the link. It takes you to a TikTok of Nadine Dorries rapping.

— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) May 26, 2022

I think someone's put acid in my toothpaste https://t.co/6Yzts2wDJ9

— Otto English (@Otto_English) May 27, 2022

“Siri, please show me a country being totally infantilised by its own ruling class.”

(Don’t miss the mic drop at the end, if you can bear it for that long).

We are living in a cartoon. #idiocracy #BrexitBritain #MakeItStop pic.twitter.com/TPj5i323Ev

— Brendan May (@bmay) May 27, 2022

Can someone rewrite the Meatloaf song and make it - ‘I will do anything to distract from Sue Gray, including rap?’. https://t.co/m67jybaqJR

— Natasha Devon 🌈💙 (@_NatashaDevon) May 26, 2022

The TikTok was also making the rounds on the day the BBC announced it was cutting several of its channels, including BBC Four and CBBC.

The BBC’s funding has been cut because Dorries has frozen the broadcaster’s licence fee for two years – prompting only more criticism in the culture secretary’s direction.

CBBC, BBC Four, and Radio 4 Extra to cease as linear channels. I shall sorely miss BBC Four as it’s the one BBC TV Channel I regularly watch. This is a direct result of Nadine Dorries freezing the license fee. #BlameNadine

— Andrew Tovell World Cup of Concertos for Orchestra (@PlusTovell) May 26, 2022

Cultural vandalism from Nadine Dorries and her Department. #CBBC has fantastic content for kids (a great respite for parents at times) and #BBC4 has world-leading cultural, educational programmes. https://t.co/FQrFq6Fg2B

— Tom Quinn🇺🇦 (@TomTheProducer1) May 27, 2022

Hey @BBC, what are parents who can't afford a streaming service meant to do when you shut CBBC?

— Alex Tiffin (@RespectIsVital) May 26, 2022

Even though CBBC is moving online in a few years, its move online is concerning for low income families who may not have access to devices for on-demand viewing.

It also puts the BBC at odds with the universality that it strives for.

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) May 27, 2022

I think I’m the only MP to have worked in children’s television and so let me say the decision to end broadcasting of CBBC on TV is awful. It’s a truly inclusive, vital and brilliant channel. It’s a terrible legacy for the Tories to have squeezed out kids TV imho.

— Luke Pollard MP (@LukePollard) May 26, 2022
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