It’s an unwritten rule that dads have to embarrass you growing up - otherwise they’re just not doing their job properly.
Redditors have now shared their best ‘one time my dad’ stories and they’re utterly brilliant.
From the dad who opened a bag of sugar like a packet of Doritos on the sofa (you know how this ends...) to the dad who made a song about penises and vaginas to teach his kid to love their body, here’s the best of the bunch...
The One With The Dog
“One time my dad’s fart smelled so bad my dog threw up.”
The One With The Potato Cannon
“One time, my dad and I built a potato cannon. We proceeded to launch potatoes into orbit from the backyard... Until we heard a car alarm go off on the next street, somewhere in the general direction of where we launched the potato.”
The One With ‘The Talk’
“One time, when I was about 10, my dad called me into his room. He and my mom were there, completely naked, standing around and laying their clothes down ready to get dressed. They acted like the situation was completely normal and asked me about some random thing.
“I eventually blocked this memory out, and thought it to be a dream, but then 10 years later, they told me that was their way of showing me what a body looked like because I was getting close to ‘that age’. Dude, wtf.”
The One With The Explosion
“One time, my dad was sitting on the couch in our living room. Mom brought out a bag of sugar and asked him to open it. He opened it like it was a bag of Doritos, and I mean, IT. WAS. EVERYWHERE. He was only wearing his shorts, so there was sugar in just about every square inch of his visible hair as well as all over our couch and carpet. Took him four showers in a row to get it all off.”
The One With The Paint
“When I was younger I was a pretty high level swimmer, so my mum would take me to events all over the country, leaving my dad and my 10-year-old brother home. I remember one time we went up north for a few days just after we’d had our house insulated. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what they do, but they essentially drill holes in your house and squirt insulation inside, it leaves loads of cream coloured spots all over the walls.
“I remember just before we left for the event my mum looked at my dad and said, ‘make sure you paint the house’. To which he replied, ‘of course dear’.
“Fast forward three days, we’re rolling up the drive at about midnight, towards a house that has now been floodlit, multiple lights are now pointing at a white house with massive pink spots, with my dad and my 10-year-old brother stood on ladders, covered in pink paint, looking very happy with themselves.”
The One With The Power Outage
“One time my dad ripped a HUMONGOUS fart and killed all the power in the neighbourhood. Literally, PHHHT...dark.
“Spoiler: We later found out that someone had hit a pole further up the line at that EXACT moment.”
The One With The Awful Song
“One time, when I was younger and embarrassed about my body and potential ‘dirty’ words, my dad made a song about penises and vaginas and sang it at any opportunity he could just to embarrass me.”
The One With The Film Rental
“One time, I asked my dad to rent ‘The Notebook’ for me from the good ol’ Family Video up the street. He rented ‘Nacho Libre’ because he could only remember it started with a ‘N’.”
The One With The Ticket Fail
“One time my dad was messing around with the ticket to get out of the car park. He was messing around pretending to put it in the CD player and the machine sucked it in. We had to pay the lost ticket fee to get out when we had already paid for the time we had been there. It took weeks to get it back out. We still laugh about it now.”
The One With Weed Brownies
“This was a few years back but my dad really got into my pot brownies. Only way I know this is because I woke up in the middle of the night to him putting baby socks on my dog.
“His only statement was, ‘Dogs shouldn’t have cold feet.’”
The One With Duck Noises
“One time I was in another room and the phone rang. I heard my dad answer the phone when a telemarketer called, and they asked if he wanted his ductwork cleaned.
“He said, ‘yes, I would love to have my ducks cleaned. QUACK QUACK....QUACK QUACK...’ and then just hung up on the guy.”
The One With The Wig
“One time my dad saw I was in a really low mood so he walked into my room, grabbed my trash Hatsune Miku wig and my swim goggles, put them both on and followed me around for a solid ten minutes, completely nonchalant, to make me laugh.
“Imagine, if you will, a large imposing black man wearing a teal pig-tailed wig and goggles so old they’re turning brown, casually making himself a sandwich.”
The One With Triple Denim
“One time my dad went to my school event in jeans, a jean shirt and a jean jacket.”