If you have found yourself single after many years of being off the market, you might have noticed that things have changed a little since you were last here.
The arrival of the digital age has heralded the dawn of dating apps, swiping, and something affectionately known as ‘ghosting’ (shorthand for heartless rejection).
Indeed it is a brave new world, and we’re not sure if we like it, but we sure as hell need to get on board or our future is looking more cat heavy with every day.
1. Do get downloading those dating apps.
You are not above them, no one is.
2. Don’t be afraid to have more than one.
This is a numbers game.
3. Don’t choose group pictures.
You will learn why soon.
4. Don’t choose selfies taken in or near toilets.
Trust us on this.
5. Do include a bio about yourself.
Yes we know it is cheesy, but people care about that shit.
6. Don’t write moronic things like ‘I work for NASA’.
It isn’t ironic and no one is laughing.
7. Do take lots of screenshots and send them to your friends.
It is not mean and everyone does it.
8. Don’t use location-based apps at work.
Happn WILL try to match you with your boss.
9. Do use cheesy chat-up lines.
No shame in this game.
10. Do go on lots of dates.
What have you got to lose?