Is there anything worse than losing your child in a public place? As soon as you realise they’re out of sight, your stomach lurches and that toe-curling dread seeps into every bone in your body.
Rest assured though, as awful as it is, lots of parents have been through it.
In fact, parents have lost their child an average of five times before they turn 10 years old, according to a new survey by NickWatch.
Two in five (41%) parents said their child has walked off alone without them knowing, the survey found, and worryingly 20% said their child had walked off with a stranger without their knowledge.
What do children tend to do when they get lost?
If their child was to get lost, 44% of parents believe their little one would look to find the police or a member of security, while 35% said their child would yell out their name in the hope of being found.
Almost a third (30%) said their child would stay put and wait to be found.
To prepare for the worst of scenarios, more than half (57%) of parents said they’ve taught their child a memorable phone number to call if they are lost, while 40% have their number written down and with their child in case of an emergency.
So what should you do if you lose your child?
Parenting expert Rachel Fitz-D said losing a child, even if only for a few seconds, “is every parent’s worst nightmare”.
She suggests it’s worth speaking to your children about what to do in the event they get lost, before you visit a public place. You could point out a place that you would meet in the event you became separated, for instance.
The parenting expert is also a firm believer in the importance of supporting kids to become confident talking to strangers – yes, really.
“Teaching children to ‘Never talk to strangers’ simply doesn’t keep them safe when they need help and, in any case, they see adults talking to strangers every day in shops and on buses,” she says.
“By getting even the youngest children to become confident at spotting and asking shop assistants for help, paying for their sandwich in a cafe, asking another mum to zip up their coat for them after school, and taking responsibility for telling the doctor themselves ‘where it hurts’, kids learn to seek help when they need it and you aren’t around.”
But as part of this learning process, you should also be discussing the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ strangers, she warns, suggesting kids might want to approach shop and cafe assistants, or police officers, and groups of children near their own age.
“Remind them to look for help in public places rather than where they are unlikely to be seen and support them to learn to trust their own instincts – if they feel something or someone is strange or a bit ‘off’ then they should get away and look for help as fast as possible.”
Another top tip is for parents to ask their kids for strategies in the event they become lost, as “they are more likely to remember their own, kid-shaped scheme for staying safe than your clever clogs grown-up one”.
“Help to build their self-esteem and declare your faith in their resourcefulness by asking them for their ideas of what they could do in any given situation,” she suggests.
Ask questions like, “if we get split up in this shop, what could you do?” and “have a look around this park... who could you run to if you needed help and I wasn’t here?”
“Keep the conversation chatty and remember that a confident child will be more able to think straight and keep safe than one who is scared of their own shadow and looks vulnerable,” she says.
If you do lose your child in a public place, it might be helpful to “look loudly”.
Earlier in the year, a mum-of-two revealed how the simple TikTok hack helped her track down her three-year-old when she went missing in a large play area.
Looking loudly is a method where a parent shouts a description of what their child looks like and is wearing, rather than their name. So, for example: little boy, bright green t-shirt, blue shorts, age seven, black hair.
The idea is that rather than relying on a young child to respond to their name, you’re putting dozens, if not hundreds, of people on high alert to find the child.