In a recent Reddit post shared to r/relationshipadvice, site user ThrowRA546893 said, “I (36M) just found out my partner (35F) of 6 years has been lying about her career. How do I bring it up?”
He explained further that his girlfriend had always told him she was a registered nurse, and he’d never had any reason to question her role ― until a few days ago.
“But now I believe she is actually a nanny, not a nurse,” he said.
It started with lending their car
A friend of the couple wanted to borrow their car for a road trip, which they lent to them ― with an Airtag inside for added peace of mind, which the friend knew about.
“When the car came back I forgot to take the Airtag out of her car,” the boyfriend said.
A couple of days after that, his partner accidentally pocket-dialled him during working hours. He heard children’s voices in the background, which he didn’t understand ― so her messaged her to ask if she was alright.
“Then I remembered the Airtag was still in the car,” the Redditor added.
“When I checked, her car was not at the hospital, but actually at a doctor’s house that she babysits for on the occasional weekend.”
The poster had questions
When confronted about the seeming inconsistency, the poster’s girlfriend “had this crazy story that she took the train from the hospital and ran into that doctor’s family on the train, that’s why I heard the kids.”
She also said she was parked outside the hospital the entire time, the poster added.
Because the accusation of lying about her whereabouts would have been so wild to make at that time, the poster waited another day to see where the car would go during working hours.
“The next day, sure enough, her car was back at that doctor’s house. And for the last few weekdays that car has been spending all day at their house. (I removed the Airtag now, ’cause it was too painful to see),” the boyfriend shared.
The pair usually had a good relationship
The post author discovered that his girlfriend didn’t show up in his state’s list of registered nurses, and the only tax documents he could find of hers were from eight years ago when her profession was listed as a nanny.
However, he was unsure how to tackle the subject as he says they have a great relationship ― he’s simply confused as to why she seems to have lied.
While she denied misleading him about her job after he first began questioning her, the poster’s girlfriend has since simply stopped answering his questions on the topic.
“I’m hoping to still hear from her why she did it and why she wanted to risk our relationship by lying for this long,” he said.
Commenters had thoughts
“I think sometimes people let a lie go on for so long they don’t know how to get out of it,” one commenter wrote under the post.
Another Redditor recommended asking her outright about the situation, adding, “If she denies it or just responds with anger and blaming you, then believe that she isn’t going to tell you the truth and doesn’t think she owes you the truth, and decide what you want to do with the relationship given that information.”
Yet another site user wrote, “This is a big betrayal. what else might she be covering up and lying to you about? You figuring this part out might be felt as a threat to whatever she gains by keeping her story as it has been, so if her reaction is angry and defensive and she turns it around to accuse you of something, maybe she’s not such a great partner after all.”
What do you think?