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You have eaten your own body weight in ice cream, stalked his social media a million times, deleted his number and checked in to your local bar enough times that the bartenders have tequila and tissues ready for you at 5:05pm.
Most of us have been here numerous times, so I feel I can share my relationship experience as a 28 year old serial dater. Break ups are hard, but endless shots of alcohol and sleeping with his best mate will not make you feel any better... well maybe for a moment or two.
Instead of the 'whys?' here are the 'how's' in six totally boss ways to deal with heartbreak. Which are 100% guilt-free. Promise.
1. What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.
The last thing you need is to see pictures of his nights out. There is nothing worse than scrolling past his statuses and tweets on your news feed each day. No matter how tempting it is to analyse every post and stalk that girl they've just added as a friend, DON'T DO IT. It will only make you feel worse, and have you obsessing over every single bit of detail. OK, so it's not easy to go cold turkey on his life... so hide his profile for a while until you are totally ready remove it. But for now, you don't want him missing out on your totally bomb selfies and showing him how you are getting on just fine without him.
2. Let music be your therapy.
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You have finally shaken off the shackles and you're doing great, then kaboom: "your" song is blaring through the headphones and you find yourself balling your eyes out, with your false eyelashes half way down your face, on the tube at rush hour. Hello Miss Mess!
Save yourself from those old lovey-dovey memories with a totally awesome break-up playlist, full of empowering, feel-good songs. Beyonce and Hailee Seinfield should feature heavily on this list.
3. Go on an ex detox.
Yes you heard it right. Thirty days without your ex. No calls, messages, emojis, nudes, carrier pigeons, subtweets and absolutely no boozy hook ups. Turning up at his house at 3am after 4 bottles of Prosecco will not win him back. Girl you need 1000% zero contact. Going from lovers to frenemies is a shock to the system, and can lead to a lot of accidental hook-ups and spontaneous crying fits, just to name a few. Distance is needed to allow you to recharge your sassy batteries and remember what it's like to be a strong independent woman.
4. Hellooo bucket list.
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C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-E yourself. Ever wanted to learn Italian or play a musical instrument? Do it! You won't regret it. Not got a bucket list yet? Write one. Think of every random, cool and totally amazing thing you can do and quite frankly, DO IT. Documenting your new challenges on social platforms, will radiate your positive vibes and you may even gain a few cute followers on the way. You will be amazed at what you can achieve and now is a great time to focus on something other than him.
It can be as little as trying that new bright new lipstick you have been meaning to get. I'll tell you now and forever. Take a risk; do it, book it, slay it. You never know, Mr Snakehips from Tuesdays salsa class may have a spare evening for some tapas and Rioja. You can thank me later.
5. Take the good with the bad.
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It is ever so easy to shout, swear, rant and wish that you'd never laid eyes on him. But I promise you that every single relationship fundamentally shapes the queen you are today. You may be a blubbering ball of emotions right now, we can allow you to do that for one day. But acknowledging that your ex helped craft the beautiful person you have grown into, whether they meant to or not, you can't deny that they filled a chapter of your life. Remember the enriching elements of your relationships, as well as the unfortunate parts.
6. No I am not mad, forgive him.
Forgiveness doesn't mean "Hello, I am a door mat, please come into my life so you can walk-on out when you please". It does mean, letting go of your resentment and moving on with your life. A mind full of anger and grudges will eat away at you, and stop you being truly happy. So it didn't work out with this guy, honey that's ok. So I propose a toast, with your non-alcoholic vino.... Here's to your new beginning and the hope your ex 'sashays away'. Yes, I felt a RuPaul quote was a totally perfect way to end this.
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