Preserve Food Stocks And Eat Mouldy Jam Like Me, Theresa May Tells Conserve-atives

A jarring statement from the PM.
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Keen jam-maker Jeremy Corbyn probably thought he had carved himself a pretty unique political niche when it came to his fruit conserve habits, with the Labour leader even sharing his recipe for blackberry jam on Instagram (catchily titled #ForTheBerry).

But in what may be the most British political revelation of all time, Theresa May has blown her opposite number out of the water by controversially announcing she eats from jars of mouldy jam.

According to the Daily Mail, in a meeting about how to reduce food waste on Tuesday, the PM told cabinet ministers she simply scrapes away any furry fungi on top of fruit jelly and eats what’s underneath. (With just 44 days to go until Brexit, it’s a relief to know that the UK’s top political minds are focussed on the important issues.)

The rest of the jam is “perfectly edible”, May reportedly told MPs, adding that people shouldn’t bin food just because it’s gone past its ‘best before’ date.

The prime minister’s attempts to save food might be admirable, but it’s left a number of people with a sour taste in their mouths (and probably avoiding their toast and jam this morning)...

SpAD: Theresa we need to come up with some relatable quirks of yours to endear you to the public

Theresa: Don’t worry, I’ve got this

*some time later*

Theresa: https://t.co/Mste6m1cVX

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) February 13, 2019

I don't feel safe in this country anymore pic.twitter.com/6utiZriK60

— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) February 13, 2019

I need a new housemate...https://t.co/0tzCxaYSgc

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) February 13, 2019

Please @jeremycorbyn give Theresa May some of your jam, she’s slathering her toast in mould

— Dawn Foster (@DawnHFoster) February 13, 2019

I guess that's why the Prime Minister is Leader of the CONSERVE-atives.

Understandable given that we're in a bit of a Brexit log-jam.

If I was Theresa May, I'd have probably Pectin by now.

Leaving the EU is hardly a trifling matter.

...

Marmalade.https://t.co/U4c5h6xOPc

— Jack Tindale (@JackTindale) February 13, 2019

the most powerful Brexit metaphor I've ever seen pic.twitter.com/Uf2sz1v8XV

— Alan White (@aljwhite) February 13, 2019

roses are red
violets grow on the heath https://t.co/j3N80eFgbj

— James (@Gilofthepeople) February 13, 2019

And as we barrel towards March 29 on the Brexit white-knuckle ride, who knows what political revelation will rock Westminster next? Larry the cat’s favourite brand of tuna? Jeremy Corbyn’s tooth-brushing technique? Watch this space.

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