'Proper Bants'? This Ad Seriously Overestimates Our Love For The Office

A disinfectant ad spotted on the London underground has raised some eyebrows.
Luis Alvarez via Getty Images

It’s time for office workers to go back to work – and no doubt, we’re beyond excited to see our “second family”, engage in some “proper bants”, then slope off early for a “cheeky afternoon in the sun”.

That’s according to a Dettol advert, anyway, which is causing quite the stir on Twitter. The ad, pictured at Euston tube station by a commuter, seems to assume there’s a LOT we miss about the office – and it couldn’t be more wrong.

“Hearing an alarm. Putting on a tie. Carrying a handbag. Caffeine-filled air,” it opens confidently, rounding up some of those “little things” we’re just thrilled to get back to.

omg they are gagging for us to return back to the office. “second family”? pic.twitter.com/udntfSVXSh

— mi🌿 (@helloalegria) September 2, 2020

Other things we’ve been missing, apparently, include “receptionists” and “those weird carpets” – as if human employees and office fixtures are one and the same.

Never mind that “taking a lift” and “face-to-face meetings” are a perilous business in this coronavirus age. Dettol gets to the point at the end of this inventory of office life, by reminding us to “disinfect surfaces we use throughout the day” and “Keep Protecting” – not the slogan we asked for, but clearly the slogan we’re stuck with.

As you might imagine, Twitter has no truck with these “proper bants” we supposedly live for at work (of which this ad seems an egregious example).

Just straightening my tie and getting ready for some bants. 🤮🤮🤮 https://t.co/9SuetxI01E

— Clare Reddington (@clarered) September 3, 2020

In fact, people had issues with a lot of the list, to be honest.

Hearing an alarm go off an hour earlier than now because you need to schlep to the office. Having to endure awkward chat in the corridor. Paying £7 for a sarnie and a drink. Having another £7 sarnie at Waterloo cos you left the office too late to make tea when you get home.

— Liz Hartley 🇪🇺 (@thefsgirl) September 3, 2020

not having to make lunch? babes, we were paying 4.99 for two slices of bread under the guise of freshness.

— mi🌿 (@helloalegria) September 2, 2020

"Leaving early for a cheeky afternoon in the sun". Are they living in the 1970's? That'll get you on a written warning or sacked.

— C Cret (@Bingleboo) September 3, 2020

Many also pointed out the striking similarities to the “Choose Life” speech from Trainspotting – and the thousand posters it spawned on student walls.

Hearing an alarm. Putting on a tie. Carrying a handbag. Receptionists. Caffeine-filled air. Taking a lift. Seeing your second family. Watercooler conversations. Proper bants. The boss's jokes. Plastic plants. Office gossip. Those weird carpets. Face-to-face meetings. CCing pic.twitter.com/SpLLXTuu9T

— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) September 3, 2020

Even Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh got involved in the chatback.

Choose death pic.twitter.com/ub5NL3Sa3V

— Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) September 3, 2020

Because the thing is, all the supposedly fun aspects of office life catalogued by this disinfectant brand are things we either don’t miss (bants, buzzwords and meetings), things that most of us never did anyway (putting on a tie, carrying a handbag, taking the afternoon off) – or they’re wholly inanimate objects like carpet and plastic plants. Anyway, back to the office we go. Or don’t.

This is an itemised list of why I will be working remotely for as long as I can help it

— Anaemicbadbinch (@Jayeamber1) September 3, 2020

Noooooooo there’s another one WHYYYYYYYYYYYY pic.twitter.com/ZGpiCXkzU3

— Jenny se quois (@mmtowns) September 3, 2020

When HuffPost UK contacted Dettol UK for a comment in response to the reaction, they directed us to a tweet by the brand that reads: “More Londoners are on the move again. So we wanted to talk about the things we’ve missed. And the things we haven’t. (And it’s clear there are plenty of those!) Whatever you are on the move for. There are little things we can do to help protect each other.”

More Londoners are on the move again. So we wanted to talk about the things we've missed. And the things we haven't. (And it's clear there are plenty of those!) Whatever you are on the move for. There are little things we can do to help protect each other. https://t.co/2Pai9AtA4V

— RB (@discoverRB) September 3, 2020
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