You might not have heard of ‘sleep divorce’, but if you’re part of a couple, there’s a 25% chance you’re actually doing it (according to The National Sleep Foundation).
The term refers to couples who sleep in separate beds ― less intense versions include the Scandinavian sleep method, which involves each partner using a different duvet.
It’s not necessarily a sign your relationship is in trouble, relationship psychologist Mairead Molloy from dating agency Berkeley International previously told HuffPost UK.
But in the case of a beleaguered Redditor, it’s certainly created a rift in their marriage.
Writing to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), the site user said: “I need to know if I’m in the wrong.” Brace yourselves...
The problem started with a tape
The poster said their wife “has recently gotten really into whale noises,” playing them throughout the day as she works, cooks, and even eats. The original poster (OP) figured this was just a phase.
But then, she started playing the sounds at night ― “full blast, speakers on either side of the bed, deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we’re sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench”.
The poster said their wife can’t sleep without the noise anymore, which is a problem, because the post author can’t sleep with them.
Even with earplugs, they write: “I wake up to haunting, eerie moaning sounds and feel like I’m in some kind of deep-sea horror movie.”
Their wife refuses to wear headphones or lower the volume, they claimed.
After a while, OP “snapped” and started sleeping in their car. “I parked it in our driveway, reclined the seat, and actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks,” they said.
Their wife isn’t happy, claiming they “abandoned” their marital bed.
“AITA for choosing my car over the call of the wild?” they ended their post.
People were on the poster’s side
“NTA [not the asshole]”, u/Away-Understanding34 opined.
“She can’t hijack the bedroom. Like you said she could wear headphones. She needs to be a better partner and compromise on this.”
Redditor u/Electronic_Sense_122 commented: “NTA. Background noise/white noise is optional. She can control what she listens to, how loud it is, and how she listens to it. It’s not a medical thing, she doesn’t HAVE to have it on full blast on speaker.
“It’s not like snoring, where it’s done unconsciously. She is being inconsiderate of your SHARED space. Claim your shared space.”
Some were a little more lighthearted – and there might’ve been some ocean puns involved. “Dunno, she’s being mean on porpoise,” u/Slight-Leg9635 wrote.
“Must really hurt your sole to be driven out of your plaice. Don’t clam up, I’m urchin you to stop her musseling in on your sleep.”
What do you think?