The weather’s hotting up and so are our sex lives it seems, as a new study has revealed what we want to try in the bedroom (and beyond) this summer.
Wellness platform Hims & Hers surveyed over 3,500 Brits as part of its Let’s Talk About Sex: The 2023 UK Report and uncovered the top 10 sex trends.
Up there on the list of must-tries included consensual exhibitionism (wanting to be seen naked or having sex by others), pegging (performing anal sex with a strap-on), dry dating (where booze and drugs are off the cards) and dom/sub relationships.
But top of the list – with almost one in three (32% of) people wanting to try it – was role-play.
To find out more about the ins and outs of role-playing, HuffPost UK spoke exclusively to Isabelle Uren, certified sex expert and site manager at Bed Bible.
What is roleplaying?
“Role-playing involves taking on different characters during or leading up to sex,” explains Uren.
“You might use role-play to delve into certain kinks or fantasies, to explore a different side of your personality or relationship dynamics, or simply just to have some fun!”
Role-play can include wearing costumes and using certain sex toys or accessories, but it can also just be the way you talk to and act with your partner.
How can first-timers get involved?
You might be a bit nervous or feel silly, so how do you approach it with your partner? “Talk about what types of role-play you are interested in and find something that excites you both,” recommends Uren.
“I would start by telling them you are happy they are willing to try this with you and reassuring them you can take things slowly. The more confident partner might also offer to take the lead.”
As well as talking about your fantasies, it’s important to establish some boundaries, too.
“Choosing a safe word that isn’t going to come up naturally in the scene that will stop all play immediately if you feel uncomfortable is also essential preparation,” she says.
“If you are just getting started with role-play, I would recommend easing yourself into it. Don’t feel like you need to go out and buy costumes and accessories right away. Instead, you can start by just changing how you talk to each other.”
Here are some things to consider in your initial conversations about role-play:
- Is there anything you usually fantasise about or watch/listen to in porn that you would like to try?
- Do you have any kinks you would like to incorporate into your role-play?
- Are there any power dynamics roles you would like to explore, such as taking on a more dominant or submissive role?
- Are there any costumes or looks you find particularly sexy?
Start with some foreplay
Don’t just leave your fun for the end of the night. Work role-playing into your conversations throughout the day to get warmed up, says Uren.
“A sexy text or cheeky comment here or there can be an easy way to get things going!” she adds.
Look after each other
“Don’t forget the aftercare when you’re finished!” she says. You can spend some time cuddling, having something to eat or drink, and talking about your experiences.
What did you enjoy and was there anything you didn’t enjoy? If you were to try it again, what would you add to it?
“And remember to have fun,” adds Uren. “It might be awkward at times but try to laugh it off and go with it! Sex should be fun, and laughing with your partner can also be very intimate.
’The aim is to enjoy yourselves, not create an Oscar-worthy scene.”
What benefits can role-play offer your relationship?
- Role-play adds a sense of novelty to your relationship, which can translate into sexual excitement and helps to keep your things feeling fresh.
- It’s also a great way to explore different kinks and fantasies with a partner and find new ways to experience physical and psychological pleasure.
- Exploring different dynamics with your partner can help you understand each other on a deeper level.
- It can help you be more playful and creative in your sex life and open your eyes to new ways to enjoy sex.
- Trying something new that requires a level of vulnerability can also increase trust and intimacy.