Twitter – the social media platform of informed debate, courtesy and reason.
Only joking, it’s a cesspit of anger, memes and disinformation, albeit one that provides endless entertainment.
Take the latest spat among three members of the British Twitterati, food critic Jay Rayner and journalists Toby Young and Sarah Vine.
Now it’s a bit of a lengthy tale, so make yourself comfortable...
On Thursday, Young caused a bit of a stir for tweeting a story that revealed the mother of climate change activist, Greta Thunberg, is a former Eurovision contestant.
This was reported by the Guido Fawkes blog as something of a revelation, with the website proclaiming: “Who would have guessed that yet another climate activist comes from an incredibly privileged background…”
Just to go over that again, Thunberg’s mother is a former Eurovision contestant. Incredibly privileged.
Young’s tweet promoting the article prompted a wave of criticism that the son of an actual baron would appear to criticise someone for their privilege.
Young defended himself by explaining that he just “clicked on the Twitter button beneath the article by @GuidoFawkes.
“But because of the way Twitter works, everyone thinks I’m calling out the saintly Greta for being ‘privileged’ — me, the son of a bloody Baron! So, of course, I’m trending again.”
Unfortunately for Young, his explanation cut him no slack and food writer Jay Rayner chipped in with a brutal response, saying: ”So your blunt stupidity and lack of self awareness is everybody else’s fault?”
Cue classic British Twitter spat.
After firing the first shots, Rayner rammed the point home with another tweet, saying Young’s “only constant” in the 35 years he had known him was “his lack of self-awareness”.
Young volleyed back claiming Rayner was only getting involved to get “over 2,000 likes”.
Just as Twitter was settling in with the popcorn to watch the battle unfold, a new player stepped in – Sarah Vine, Daily Mail columnist and wife of Michael Gove.
As the sound of rustling popcorn was replaced with the silence of bated breath, she played the parental privilege card again, writing: “This is typical of @jayrayner1 he knew us all back in the day when he worked for the Mail on Sunday.
“Yes, Tweeps, he worked on the Mail. His mother was a very talented and famous journalist.”
Rayner declined to point out the problem of a Mail employee using the Mail as a stick to beat someone with, and instead opted for a devastating, Scarface-worthy diatribe lamenting the pair’s “terrible mistake”.
And is if the crowd hadn’t been treated to enough, he then defended his mum.
But wait! It wasn’t over just yet! In the modern-day equivalent of a Roman emperor condemning a gladiator with a twitch of his thumb, Rayner basically called Young and Vine tossers.
Long live Twitter.