A disappointing 54% of Brits think people should stop having sex at a certain age for no other reason than their bodies having aged, sexual wellness company Lovehoney’s research found.
And 27% of people in the UK think people over 50 should give the horizontal tango a break at some stage, the brand found (climbing to 45% among 18-24-year-olds).
So it’s a good thing Suzanne Noble, who has appeared on the BBC mini-series Sex After 60, hosts the podcast Sex Advice for Seniors (alongside the TikTok account @sexadviceforseniors) and is one of three 60+-year-old members of Lovehoney’s Queen Bee senior sexpert panel, is here to set things straight.
Speaking to HuffPost UK, the 62-year-old says she considers a good sex life a pivotal part of healthy ageing calling sex after 60 a “relief.”
Here’s what she had to say to our probing personal questions:
How is sex different after 60 for you, if at all?
“After 60, reaching orgasm takes much longer for me, which has shifted my focus away from that goal,” Suzanne said.
“I’ve become less fixated on having an orgasm, and as a result, sex has transitioned into a more pleasurable experience overall. Since my partners face similar challenges, our encounters become slower and more playful.”
Suzanne thinks ageing changes the dynamic of straight sex too.
“I find that heterosexual sex in later life embraces a more feminine energy, which doesn’t always involve penetration,” she shared with HuffPost UK.
“It’s a relief to not always be chasing an orgasm or to hurry up to ‘finish’ knowing my partner is waiting for me to come so he can.”
Did the menopause affect your sex life?
“During my early fifties, my libido took a significant downturn, and I mourned its loss for several years. I had to relearn how to feel desire,” the sexpert said.
Pleasure is more of a slow burn for her now, she revealed.
“Generally, I find that to feel aroused, there needs to be some kind of physical connection, whether it’s a hand on my knee, a shoulder rub, or a lingering kiss,” she told HuffPost UK.
“My body responds best when there’s that physical interaction between us.”
Do you feel you/women have internalized ideas of sex over 60, and how? Have you felt those internalized ideas melt away?
“I personally never internalized ideas about sex after 60, but I know many women who have,” Suzanne stated.
“Some are relieved not to feel obligated to have sex with men anymore. For many of these women, sex has often revolved around their partner’s pleasure rather than their own, sometimes waiting for their partner to orgasm.”
In fact Suzanna says having sex after 60 has been incredibly freeing for a lot of women, especially straight women, she knows.
“Once you stop viewing sex solely through the lens of ejaculation, it frees you to explore the vast array of sexual pleasure available.”