1. Crop them out of your profile picture.
I know you think we're probably past that, it's 2016, it's something you do to your mates on a weekly basis but stop. This is the semi-crop. You need to leave in a creepy amount of them, like a single eye in the corner of the photo.
2. Create a meme at their expense.
Here's where the beauty of the internet can really come into full force. Create a meme at the expense of your loved one and use it freely online. We've all heard of Bad Luck Brian and Tell Me More Willy Wonka. YOU COULD BE SHIPWRECKED SHEILA.
3. Screenshot their tweets that have had no interaction.
Everyone likes to think they are funny but you can collect the evidence to prove they are not! Pop all the tweets onto a tumblr page, make sure it is on endless scroll and title it 'MY LOVE FOR YOU IS ENDLESS, JUST LIKE YOUR SHIT TWEETS'.
4. Download Tinder
Just have it there, as a reminder.
5. Be forever typing on Whatsapp
Open up a conversation, type one letter and leave it for about 10 minutes. Then delete it. They'll be wondering what you never said.
6. Check in at a bar on Facebook.
You told them you were going to your grandparents house but you appear to have logged in at Beluga Bar. Dammit, who could you be meeting?
Maybe don't do these.