Storm Doris Is Destroying The UK And Everyone Is Freaking Out

Bloody Doris.
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Whoever named the latest storm to hit Britain has a lot to answer for.

Previously the preserve of lovable, largely harmless but occasionally forgetful grandmothers, β€˜Doris’ has thrown tradition to the very wind she is creating by wreaking havoc across these once-fair isles.

Just look!

This trampoline’s fall from grace after appearing in last year’s John Lewis ad is complete as Doris blasts it into a field where it is destined to become nothing grander than a horse’s favourite scratching post.

#stormdoris your taking the piss now pic.twitter.com/kZfTrwf2ht

β€” Miss Pullen (@MISSPULL) February 23, 2017

Just out of frame, hordes of early-morning drinkers roam the streets like the walking dead, confused and not quite knowing where to stand.

Tom is learning there are consequences for not taking prompt action.

I should probably deal with that... #stormdoris pic.twitter.com/sYGSQAg7LH

β€” TomSka (@thetomska) February 23, 2017

I didn't deal with it... #stormdoris pic.twitter.com/932ZrTW6Xh

β€” TomSka (@thetomska) February 23, 2017

UPDATE ON THE JOHN LEWIS AD TRAMPOLINE: The smashed up bounce monster is on a rampage.

#stormdoris attacking Mrs J with a trampoline 😱 pic.twitter.com/jl2zqlojmj

β€” Stephen Jury (@stephen_jury) February 23, 2017

This footballing gnome lies forlornly, eternally pondering the header he has yet to make and never will.

Utter carnage of biblical proportions - Doris has had her Day πŸ˜• pic.twitter.com/nSupxbmm9M

β€” Zag Neek (@zagneek) February 23, 2017

The winds are so strong it’s affecting the genetic make up of animals as can be seen here by this badger that only seconds before was a dog.

A tad blowy today... #stormdoris #ThursdayThoughts #MorningMotivation pic.twitter.com/JWzmeYlJOj

β€” Fi πŸƒπŸŒΌπŸƒ (@Fibutton) February 23, 2017

Here’s the ITV’s graphic representation, the wind like a torrent of giant alien sperm all heading to Belfast for some reason.

#stormdoris has arrived with #snow in Scotland, heavy rain in NI, Wales & NW Eng-Plus gales for N & S coasts quickly increasing this AM @GMB pic.twitter.com/UQYjQCnUC9

β€” Laura Tobin (@Lauratobin1) February 23, 2017

We’ll bring you more chaos as it trickles in.

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