Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in all relationships, romantic or otherwise. Humans are all individuals and it makes sense that now and then, you just won’t completely gel with somebody.
In romantic relationships, this rings even more true as you spend the majority of your time together, have to face life’s battles as a pair, and will likely talk about much deeper, complex issues than you would with anybody else.
However, while conflict is normal, cruelty is not. There’s no reason that you can’t disagree, and even get heated in doing so, while still being kind and respectful of one another.
With this in mind, relationship therapist Jeff Guenther, also known as TherapyJeff on TikTok, outlined the four things that he would never do to a partner.
What to do never do to your partner
Give them the silent treatment
While this is a common tactic during conflict, Guenther warns that this can be triggering to people whose parents relied on it as a form of punishment. However, he also adds that it is just “childish, mean, and meant to cause anxiety,”
Compare them to your ex
Honestly, I think this one should go without saying, leave the past exactly where it is. However, Guenther adds, “that’s just unnecessarily messed up, and what is the point of this?”. He also said that you’re just opening a can of worms, leaving your partner thinking that you’re constantly comparing them to your ex.
Guenther advises that if you have to compare the two, which you shouldn’t, “keep it to yourself.”
Tease or put them down on a regular basis
While Guenther confirms that light teasing can be fine if you’re both consenting, he warns that, “if making your partner feel bad about themselves is your primary way of showing love, it’s going to backfire one day when they start feeling insecure about themselves.”
Also, as a funny person, I feel that I can say that in my professional opinion, if belittling your partner is your idea of humour, you’re not remotely funny at-all but you are a clown.
Use phrases like, “you always” or “you never”
Guenther urges people to not use these terms because they’ll instantly make your partner defensive and adds that, chances are, it’s not even the case that they always do this or never do that.
It really shouldn’t be hard to just be a kind partner to the person you love.