There are times in a parent’s life when something happens and you need to tell someone but you haven’t got a clue who that someone is – so, naturally, you turn to the internet.
Whether you’ve had to explain to your own mum how testicles work or you want to find out whether your arse will ever heal thanks to the gift that is pregnancy and postpartum piles, the internet has your back.
Here are some of the best and/or most relatable posts we discovered online this week.
‘I had to explain to my mother how testicles work’
A 31-year-old confessed she had to explain to her 56-year-old mother that when it’s cold outside, “testicles can disappear”.
The concerned grandparent had been looking after her five-month-old grandson and was changing his nappy when she noticed “he looked different down there and she thought something was wrong”.
The grandparent was also confused as to why his testicles were darker in colour, at which point her daughter had to explain that “dark-skinned people have darker scrotums”.
Here’s how that convo went down: “She said ‘well your father’s are definitely white!’ and I shared with her that my husband, who is Mediterranean, has a dark ball sack. I thought I was prepared for most pregnancy/baby related things, but this I was not ready for!”
100% rather you than us.
‘My knees clicked and woke my baby up’
There are so many frustrating things that wake babies up, but this one really takes the biscuit. A parent revealed on Reddit that they’d previously managed to get their baby to sleep at sports centres, swimming pools, beaches, shopping centres (you name it).
“Not always easily, and I’m not always successful, but it’s been done,” they added.
But then recently, as they put their sleeping baby down, their knees clicked and woke their baby up. Life is cruel sometimes, but we can totally relate. And so could these parents who then shared the most stupid things that had woken their babies up:
“My nursing bra clip. Like a gunshot on a silent night.”
“His own fart.”
“I once turned in bed (in another room) and she woke up and my husband was convinced it was because of me.”
‘Will my asshole ever recover?’
A relatable post if a little bleak. One mum shared on Reddit that she’s eight months postpartum and “the only thing yet to recover is my asshole”.
“People always talk about the toll pushing a baby out has on your vagina, but what they DON’T talk about is the wreck it does to your asshole,” she said. A fair point.
“Will I ever poo again without a flare up? Will I ever have sexy butt time again? Any butt success stories out there?” she asked, referring to her haemorrhoids.
Unfortunately, the responses weren’t exactly hopeful. “I have nothing good to tell you, just solidarity,” said one person in the comments.
Most people recommended a high fibre diet to keep future flare-ups at bay. “I’ve had them for 15 years since first baby was born and if I let up on the fibre they come right back,” said a respondent. Good to know.
‘I need to stop singing Queen around the house’
This one gave us a much-needed laugh.
That awkward moment when you realise you listen to a lot – maybe even too much – of Queen’s Greatest Hits... “I just heard my youngest shout ‘Mama’ and eldest shout back ‘I just killed a man,’” revealed one highly-amused parent on Reddit.
‘I left the plastic cover on my child’s straw’
A parent has confessed to accidentally leaving the plastic cover on their 18-month-old child’s weighted straw Munchkin cup, which she’s been using for three months now.
“I’m cleaning it tonight and all of a sudden notice the plastic cover over the weighted piece… HOW DID IT TAKE ME THIS LONG!!??” said the parent.
“My poor girl was probably sucking with all her might just to drink water. I feel horrible and dumb. That is all.”
We’ve all been there. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t realise how to properly clean my daughter’s 360 sippy cup until she was about one.