Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My 6yo told me there's a kid called Mirror in his new class, and I'm not sure if he misheard or that's just where we are with names now
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 6, 2024
My 17mo insisted her baby needed her own horse in the carousel. pic.twitter.com/ISmKxpCAjP
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 3, 2024
A rival dad told me one of my tires looked low in front of some other dads so I pressure washed a small but visible corner of his driveway to show him what it could look like.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 3, 2024
My 17 year old is in Germany for a month and my 12 year old just asked if we can repaint the upstairs and when he gets home pretend it’s always been that way and I was like, I love you, you are evil and brilliant, and also for reference, this is a literal example of gaslighting.
— hodel in the streets, chava in the sheets (@mrotzie) August 3, 2024
Found the JanSport backpack that I had in college and it was still in pretty good shape so I gave it to my daughter and she had the nerve to ask why it doesn't have a laptop sleeve
— 🌜🤷♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) August 5, 2024
My toddler threw a tantrum after I made him breakfast. Couldn’t figure out how to stop it then my wife comes over and makes him stop crying by moving the milk bottle from the left side of his breakfast plate to the right.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 5, 2024
Instead of happy birthday my kids sang skibbidy toilet rizz to you and the fact that I’m touched shows you my head space.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 5, 2024
My 3 year old told me that when she was in my belly, she had toys to play with....and the toys are still in there.
— cur🐝 (@mommatofour_) August 7, 2024
So that's terrible news.
my 9yo: does your friend Scott know that he could just spell his name with one t and it would sound exactly the same?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 3, 2024
Me *2 PM*: Let’s go kids, we don’t want to miss a second of this vacation!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 5, 2024
Me *6 AM*: This is not what I meant, go back to bed!
I’m just a mom
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 6, 2024
standing in front of her kids
repeating “skibidi rizz toilet”
because I have no idea what it means
My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 5, 2024
Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.
My teen is on her 3rd time through the entire Gilmore Girls series. Every now and then I just walk through the room and say “I can’t believe she did that” and she says “I know, right?!?”
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 7, 2024
Someone stop me from eating the same junk food that I just stopped my kid from eating.
— Maddie! 🩵 ☕️ 👩🏻💻 🇮🇳 💤 (@MadHatterMommy) August 5, 2024
I’ve reached the part of my summer where I’m excited that I’ll soon be able to stop checking my kids’s heads for ticks and go back to just checking for lice
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 7, 2024
Few things bring joy to a dad’s heart like seeing his daughter participate in the time-honored tradition of wearing her softball glove like a hat
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) August 3, 2024
The Steeplechase, but it's just me going around the house jumping over piles of stuff and stepping in a puddle of water my 7yo spilled.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) August 7, 2024
I got so tired of my daughter saying “period” I started replying with “exclamation point” and she stopped saying it. Follow me for more parenting tips.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 6, 2024
Had dinner with a family who limits their kids’ TV and sugar consumption and after they left my 4yo son rolled into the kitchen on his scooter and said “I eat a million ice creams and watch a million things on TV. It’s the only thing I love.” then rolled away.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 7, 2024
My child said she wanted to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around saying “where are my glasses?!” I feel attacked
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) August 6, 2024
I told my 7yo my feet tired. He gone ask is that why they’re ashy.
— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) August 7, 2024
I don’t need this. pic.twitter.com/QgNntVPPjJ
We have 2 muffins left and all 3 kids want one, so I said everyone could have 2/3 a muffin. 4yo doesn't want to share so she said she's not having one, which means the older kids can have their own muffin. Now that everyone's getting their own muffin, she wants a muffin again but
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 6, 2024