Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
One of the most challenging parts of parenthood is being caught off guard by those tough questions about life, like this morning when my 13 y/o daughter randomly asked me, “Do dogs sleepwalk?”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 5, 2024
My 6 year old, who LOVES owls, is BEGGING to go to the owl restaurant 💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/fczjQg8j8k
— Christie Curry (@ChristieCurry25) February 4, 2024
since she wanna be cinderella so bad pic.twitter.com/XE0stgm9Qe
— baby spice (@Zonnique) February 3, 2024
Telling a ghost story around a campfire, but it’s just me describing mammograms to my 10 and 14yo daughters.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 6, 2024
Check on your friends with a teenage driver on their insurance policy, we aren’t doing good.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2024
School: stop coddling your children
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 5, 2024
Also school: we’re cancelling school for the solar eclipse
Secret to peaceful parenting is to never tell your child the plans for the day
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 8, 2024
My husband and son are going away for a swim meet in a couple weeks so I’m having a ✨Girls Weekend✨ with my 4yo and 6yo, which will be nice, but every time I ask what they want to do for ✨Girls Weekend✨ they just say “CAKE.”
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 4, 2024
Hey mamas! Here's some inspo for those 75th Day of School gifts for your child's class. Don't forget to set up Lincoln on the Shelf for 3 weeks leading up to President's Day! And I have a code for 2% off an Ides of March Fairy costume for when you fill those Caesar baskets!
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) February 6, 2024
They should have a subscription service for kids shoes.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 5, 2024
Getting my kids a gaming PC setup has given me instant regret because I was so excited about it that I failed to realize I am now 24/7 tech support please help me.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 4, 2024
“Mama, I found all this artwork I made in the trash! Good thing I found it and took it back out.” - my 6yo, innocently thinking all that artwork ended up there by accident.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) February 4, 2024
my daughter is walking around slapping her stomach demanding dessert and i think ive been going about life the wrong way
— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 6, 2024
My parenting book:
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 6, 2024
Chapter 1: Ask Mommy
Chapter 2: Don’t Tell Mommy
Whenever a parent makes a post about their picky kid there is ALWAYS someone who comments “We did Baby Led Weaning with my kid, it’s so easy, you just feed them what you’re eating. My baby eats everything. She’s 11 months old.” and you just want to be like “aw, honey.”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 3, 2024
Me: good morning my mermaid
— Princess (@themultiplemom) February 8, 2024
My 2yo: I not mermaid anymore
Me: okay
Her: I a fish with hair
Me: pic.twitter.com/WYJGN2OIBY
driving home after my son's soccer game we heard the song Creep and my son said he didn't know who was singing it, but it was a terrible version. It was Radiohead.
— 🌜🤷♂️ Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) February 5, 2024
I have failed as a parent
8-year-old: When can I stay up as late as I want?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2024
Me: When you're an adult.
8: By then, my life will be over.
You have no idea.
Trying to binge watch a show when you’re a parent takes about 20 years, apparently.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 4, 2024
The kids realized I bought store-brand ketchup and now they're all singing "It's the Hard-Knock Life" from the Annie musical.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 5, 2024