Need A Laugh? Check Out The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

"The extreme amount of stress I feel when crawling into my sleeping child’s room to leave tooth fairy money proves I could never make it as a spy."

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.

Scroll down to read the latest batch.

Something that is so funny is my baby did not know my first name until I taught it to her last night. We’ve known each other almost 2 yrs

— Erin Somers (@SomersErin) June 26, 2023

i hated what my teen was wearing today so i told him i loved it and it looked "dripping bruh". he changed. follow me for more parenting advice

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 26, 2023

The extreme amount of stress I feel when crawling into my sleeping child’s room to leave tooth fairy money proves I could never make it as a spy

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 25, 2023

My 13yo wants a hamster and we told her she needs to prove she’s responsible first so we just keep saying things like “someone who wants a hamster doesn’t leave their plate at the dinner table” and I think we might keep this going until she’s 23

— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 24, 2023

A cool thing about having kids is that you now constantly have rocks in your house. What’s that on your nightstand? A rock. What’s in the couch cushion? A rock. What’s that in the bathroom sink? You’ll never guess.

— Lindsay Fickas (@lindsayfickas) June 29, 2023

My wife: the kids and I want to know if there’s any way you’ll ever go camping.

My any way I’ll ever go camping: pic.twitter.com/9QF8eT2DWr

— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) June 26, 2023

My kid made a new friend at the park but couldn't remember his name, so I asked if it was Jackson, and reader, I was right

— meghan (@deloisivete) June 28, 2023

Lately when my kids have something to tell me they say “Hear this!” They grow up so fast, like one day they’re a baby and the next day they’re an 18th century town crier.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 24, 2023

My 3yo thinks my name is Babylove because that’s what my husband calls me 😂

— Meghana Chalasani, MD (@MChalasani) June 27, 2023

My son saw his medicine said shake well before using so he shook his whole body and damn that apple never even fell from the tree.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 28, 2023

5: Dad, I'm hungry, I want breakfast!

Me: Ok, we have cornflakes and I made banana bread, what do you want?

5: Chicken

— Big, Bad Caffeinated Dad 🇳🇿 ☕ (@Cafeinated_Dad) June 24, 2023

If you want to know what it’s like to be a toddler mom, imagine having roommates who cry every time you go to the bathroom unless you let them join you.

— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) June 30, 2023

If by hot mom summer you mean me sweating my ass off setting up stuff in the yard for my kids to play with for 12 minutes before getting bored then yes, I am hot af.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 24, 2023

my 8yo’s friend came over wearing a Guns-n-Roses t-shirt

me: cool shirt, one of my favorite bands when I was younger

him: yeah it’s my grandma’s favorite band

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 26, 2023

How long do you wait at the airport arrivals, before bringing home another family!?

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 24, 2023

People were able to defend the Alamo for 13 days. My toddler woke up at 6 and by 6:15 she was eating a popsicle.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 28, 2023

Just when you think you finally understand your kid he says “let’s do a high five, but in Spanish.”

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 25, 2023

We have 25 people coming over tomorrow for a bbq. 6 moms. 6 dads. 13 toddlers under the age of 4. My husband said if I took our girls out today that he’d ‘get the house ready.’ What did he clean in the 2 hours we were gone? The top of the fridge. He cleans the TOP OF THE FRIDGE.

— Shit I tell my toddler (@Toddler_talkin) June 25, 2023

my children, who complain my cooking is too spicy, love flaming hot cheetos

make it make sense

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) June 24, 2023

There was a hostage situation at my daughter’s 3 hour dance recital. It was me, I was held hostage.

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 27, 2023
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